Ironman Kona - THE OFFICIAL RACE REPORT...

First off, I hate having to read through a long blog post to find out if someone finished or not and what there finishing times were, so I'm going to save you the trouble.

I finished!!!!

Swim - 1:15:05

Bike - 5:47:01

Run - 4:12:34

Final - 11:24:33 (1150 of 1926 overall / 136 of 198 Age group)

I woke up at 5 am and the day started off odd, I wasn't nervous or feeling rushed to get down to the start. Actually, I was "too non-chalanent" and it almost bit me in the ass. I was very close to missing the "body marking" cut-off time and I was worried about the transition zone closing before I could put my water bottles on my bike.

I got all the way to the body marking area and the "eagle eye" volunteers noticed I did not have my timing chip. Doh!!!

The volunteers at the "Big Show" are no-nonsense, they volunteer with "authority". They wouldn't even body mark me until I had my timing chip. I asked if they could body mark me and then I'd go get it. The answer was, "No, you MUST have your timing chip before we can body mark you. Go back to your hotel, get it and we'll hold your pre-race bag".

I figured, "okay, no problem, I'll be back". The problem was they didn't tell me there was a body marking time cut-off. I was back with my chip in less than 10 minutes and they were "tearing apart" the tables and there was only a few volunteers left.

The women who told me "I MUST have my chip" then said, "Your lucky, you just made it under the cut-off time". I thought to myself, "What the F#ck, why didn't you tell me about a cut-off time BEFORE I went back to my hotel room?"

She then said, "I can't believe how relaxed you are". I really was relaxed, except I was still worried that the transition zone was going to close before I got to put my water bottles on my bike. Internally I had lots of anxiety until I saw the the transition zone was still open.

As I was going into the transition zone I ran into Iain (@devonian). He noticed me right away. It was "cool" to finally meet in person after twittering back and forth for so long. It was the first of five times I'd see Iain throughout the day, which is amazing odds considering the number of people at the event.

It was a weird morning, for the most part I didn't "have my head in the game". As I stood in the long line of people waiting to get into the water, I saw a fellow Mark Allen athlete who got in on the lottery. She said she ran into Mark this morning and asked for advice and he said, "enjoy the buffet, there's lot's of food and drink on the course". I thought that was good advice.

As I was standing in line I looked to my right and there was a guy beside me who had "thick, permananet marker" writing covering his entire forearm. I looked closer and it said, "Flight $2,000, Hotel $1500, etc, etc". I loved "how he motivated himself to finish" and went over to him and told him so and we shared a laugh.

For the most part, I wasn't amped until I got into the water and swam out to the start line. Along the lower part of the pier, some athletes were holding on to the big tracker tires that are used for boat bumpers. Some had even climbed up and were sitting on them resting.

As I was about 100 meters off the beach and "treading water" I looked around and started "soaking it all in" for 10 minutes before the gun went off. I was amazed at the "pom and circumstance" all around me. The crowds of people around the pier and down the seawall along Ali'i drive was never ending and deep.

Everywhere I looked was spectators. Even on the roof of the host hotel, which is about 8 stories high. It was amazing and the energy outside of the water was electric.

In the water, it was "quiet". Not a lot of talking. People were getting cold treading water and the extend of my conversations to a couple people were, "I'm starting to get cold, I can hardly wait to get going so I can warm up". That was it, nothing else was said. I didn't sense any "fear" or "anxiety" in anyone, it was more of a subdued "confident anticipation".

The minute the Cannon went off to start the race I remember vividly getting excited, I had a big smile on my face and said to myself out loud, "This is THE Ironman, lets do it!!!!" and I was off.

True to Training Payne fashion, I went for the direct line and was only about 5 rows back from the lead swimmers at the start. This race was full of "full contact swimming". I loved it. I was kicked a couple times in the nose, hit all over, slapped AND "kicked in the nuts". A guy swam under me and kicked his heel up into my "family jewels". All I thought was, "ouch that hurts and that's going to be a good story for the blog".

At one point, I got hit from behind so hard I thought I was rammed by something. I was right. I looked up and it was on of the lifeguards on a surf board that ran into me. There was "a ton" of support people all along the swim course on surf boards.

I had to laugh, most Ironman races don't have anywhere near the water support that Kona does, yet the worst swimmers are in those non-Kona Ironman races. The probability of someone drowning in Kona is about 0% and they have the most water support I've ever seen.

I swam fairly hard, I sighted well and thought I swam a lot faster than my time showed. For the last kilometer I drafted off a couple of swimmers. It was the first time I ever did that. I was so into the race I didn't even look at the fish below, all I remember seeing was feet and bubbles in front of me.

One guy was an "aggressive" swimmer and we swam the first half near side by side. He'd constantly be swimming into me with "unnecessary force". He kept pissing me off, but I got back at him in the end. For the last 500 meters I swam in his slip stream and constantly was hitting his feet with my hands. I'm sure it drove him nuts and if it wasn't him I would have felt bad about constantly touching his feet.

I never know how well I'm physically feeling until I get on the bike. The swim is just the warm up. I got out of the water and ran through the showers, which are garden hoses that hang down with water coming out of them. I grabbed one and took a little time to flush the salt off my body and out of my shorts.

My transition was slow, I had trouble putting my jersey on and needed volunteer help. I also wanted to make sure I put sunscreen on, I was still burnt from Tuesdays ride. The volunteers were fantastic and couldn't be more helpful.

When I got on the bike, I wasn't feeling it and mentally, I wasn't prepared for the first part of the course. I didn't realize we weren't going onto the Queen K immediately and I ride better when I mentally know what to expect.

From the beginning, I was being passed, which rarely happens. And I was being "chicked" big time. Which means, passed by girls or Simon Cross. The first 20 miles were the hardest, I wasn't into it, I was riding fairly strong and being passed more than I was passing.

The worst part was my "ass was sore". I don't know why but I was strangely uncomfortable riding on my seat. It hurt.

It was a moment of truth and I had to have "a come to Jesus talk" with myself. I was an hour in and knew how my body was responding and now it was time to determine my race strategy based on how I was feeling.

I drew strength from the blog followers and the word that came into my mind was "celebration". That I needed to enjoy myself. At that moment, I new what my strategy was going to be.

I decided I was going to go as hard as I could, "without going into the Hurt Locker". I was not going to take it easy, I was not going to feel inferior or get down on myself for being passed. I realized that this was not an ordinary race, this was "the best of the best" racing, there's no dishonour in getting passed.

I knew I needed to "race my own race" and forget about the others. The one thing I really liked about this race was they didn't put your age on your calves. It was nice not having to constantly look at the ages of people your passing or being passed by. It allowed me to stay in my own zone of thought.

It felt like the bike course had more aid stations than any other Ironman I've ever done. If you were dehydrated it was only because you were lazy, it wasn't from lack of available liquids.

It was hot on the bike, not Ironman China hot, but hot. I made sure I was drinking constantly and ate every hour. I started with my Ensure out of the swim and had three Power Bars, a banana and a couple of gels on the bike.

After 25 miles, my state of mind changed. I tried something I've thought of doing, but had never done before. I started repeating to myself, "There is no other place I'd rather be, there's not other place I'd rather be".

Forget about lying on the couch, forget about watching TV at the hotel, forget about drinking at the bar, I'm out here doing the Ironman, "there's no other place I'd rather be".

I used that line and added to it later in the race on the run. When it got tough and I wanted to walk, I kept saying to myself, "there's no place I'd rather be" AND "there' no other mental state I'd rather be in". I decided to "embrace the pain".

I figured, "it's not everyday that you can live on that mental pain edge". "Embrace the state" and "there is no other place I'd rather be" were my mantra's throughout the day when I felt I needed them.

The bike was a lot harder than I though it would be. It was windy, hilly and hot. It was also scary for about 8 miles up to Hawi and back. The winds were "wicked" and I came very close to being blown off the bike a few times. Once I was going down a hill in my aero bars at 59 kph and a huge gust of wind almost "took me out". It scared me.

I then started talking to myself out loud and saying, "wind, you are not going to beat me, you can knock others down, but not me, not today". For those 16 miles, my arms were tensed and I was so relieved when I saw we were almost out of "wind alley".

I could tell when the wind was going to end because the white caps in the ocean stopped dramatically. It was a cool sight seeing flat water and then "boom", as if it was on a line, there was white caps. For part of the road to Hawi I also had some rain droplets fall on me.

At times, over the last 50 kms, I could feel the heat coming up off the road. I was later told that at the road level it was 121 F. Throughout the day it was hot and sunny, although it didn't overly bother me. I made sure I didn't go 15 minutes without drinking something. I think getting here on Monday and doing 7 hours of training in the heat also helped.

It was cool watching the pros go by in the opposite direction as I was climbing to Hawi. They were just flying and I saw McCormick, he was in about 7th or 8th place and a bit of a ways back. As they went by, I was thinking, "this is the IRONMAN, it's going to be on NBC, this is big time, there's no place I'd rather be".

Throughout the ride, I was thinking of my "blog buddies" and when I say "buddies" I mean "guys and gals". I played a bit of a game with myself and tried to remember and say everyones name in my head. The list was LONG. I was surprised how many names I could remember and how many online friends I've made.

As I rode, I had the gps on and envisioned others watching my progress and I didn't want to disappoint. I wanted to have a respectable race. I was drawing on all my B.B's (Blog Buddies) energy and well wishes. I must say, "there as great karma in the air, it was a tough day physically, yet mentally I felt fantastic". It was the strangest sensation.

The one thing the race course didn't have was many porta-potties, I saw none at any of the aid stations. I was fully prepared to stop and take a pee within the rules and I couldn't find a washroom.

I was able to pee as I was close to finishing my swim and now with 25 miles left on the bike I had to pull over to the side of the road and pee. I decided to go after I saw the "drafting Marshall" drive by on their motorcycle and were out of sight. I figured the odds of me getting caught were now "low".

Drafting wasn't too much of a problem, but I did see one guy "Werner" with bib #280 blatantly drafting for about 3-5 minutes. I wanted to pull up to him and say something like, "must be easier drafting, eh?" It never fails, any of the guys I see drafting are aways European. I just can't fathom why someone would "cheat an Ironman". I personally want to know "I did it on my own".

Seeing the names of people on their race bibs was cool as well. There was a lot of different European names. The Japanese had either a crazy name I couldn't pronounce or the name "Ken". I laughed to myself when I saw the name "Ken" and wondered why "Ken" is such a popular North American name chosen by the Japanese.

Throughout the last 20 miles of the ride I was playing some head games with myself. Primarily I was counting how many miles I'd have to walk or run if I had a catastrophic bike failure. As the miles wound down, I got happier and happier knowing I'd have to walk less and less.

Physically I gave it everything I had in me on the bike. My ass was SORE, yet I felt mentally fine and in control. I was still in control of this race, it wasn't "owning me". Everything was going according to race plan.

I also "sucked in" as much of the bike course as I could. In all honesty, I remembered "NONE" of it from 22 years ago. I remembered it being flat and I didn't even remember seeing the ocean. In 1988 I think I was so in "the hurt locker" that I wasn't looking at anything but my front tire and road.

When I did this race last time, my longest bike training ride of the year was 80 miles and my longest run was 2 hours. I came totally "unprepared" and it was a "struggle" to finish. It HURT. I remember doing a lot of walking in the dark and not being able to walk after I crossed that finish line.

The one beautiful thing about doing 24 bike rides over 100 miles this year is "you know you will easily finish this bike". It's not even a question if you're going to finish. Other than my butt hurting, my mental strategy having to be refocused, the strong winds to and from Hawi, almost getting blown of my bike and the heat, the ride was fairly uneventful and not too bad.

Getting off the bike and running was scary. My butt hurt so bad I was having trouble running. I'm normally a great runner off the bike and now I was having doubts if I was going to be able to even run the marathon.

The transition zone is a long run and by the time I ran to the change tent, sat down, put on my runners and began the marathon, I was feeling much better, I was relieved to know I'd be able to run the marathon.

It was hot and I started running strong, I got to the 5 mile marker at a 5:00 per km pace. The crowds were huge coming out of the run and there was constant patches of spectators as we ran out and back down All'i drive. There was a lot of "Go Captain" or "I like the hat" cheers going on. The spectator support in Kona was great. It was not subdued like Clearwater. I'd put Kona right up there on the"Go Captain" Cheer meter.

After 10 km's I started slowing down, it was hot and I just didn't have it in my legs. At times I even thought of walking, that it would be so much easier.

The one similarity between Clearwater and Kona is the caliber of athletes, they are the "elite", it was MUCH less people walking than any other Ironmans I've done.

When it got tough, I started my mantra, "there's no other place I want to be" and "there no mental state I'd rather be in". It's amazing how quickly it helped. I also saw Iain on the run course twice and the first time we exchanged a low high-five.

For the last 32 kms I walked through the aid stations and ran the entire course. I'm proud to say other than walking briefly up a steep hill to the Queen K highway, I ran the entire course.

I played some "head games" with myself along the way. I always think of walking time and distance. I hate walking and I walked 13 miles in China and "hated" every minute of it. When you run it is so much better, you get to finish faster and the "suffering" ends sooner.

I'm actually "afraid" to have to walk long distances, I think it would be hard. My muscles are trained to run, not walk and I figure walking long distance would eventually hurt more than running.

The toughest part of the run was transitioning from the walk through the aid station back to a run. Once I was running, I was good. The walk to run transition was painful.

For the first half of the run it was HOT. As I ran along All'i drive I'd try to hug the side of the road and get some shade from the buildings, trees and bushes along the road. As I got out on to the Queen K the sun started to get blocked by clouds. It was a godsend.

I primarily drank water and it tasted "GREAT". When I do a long training session in the heat and come home and have that "first" glass of water, it tastes like HEAVEN. During the entire last half of the run at every aid station the water tasted like HEAVEN. I've never had that experience before, every cup of water tasted like it was the first time I've drank water that day.

As I ran, I kept counting down the miles and doing the math on how much walking I'd have to do if I stopped running now. At mile sixteen I decided that for the last 6 miles I was going to have the "Celebration Six".

I came up with the idea of "giving thanks to all the wonderful things in my life for the last six miles". For the last hour, I was just going to "Celebrate Life". At times, I'd start to think about positive things and then I'd bitch slap myself and say, "not yet, you still have four miles before you can start the Celebration Six".

When I got to the energy lab it was the first time I saw people walking and I felt good. I wasn't fast and I couldn't go faster, but I was mentally feeling "fantastic". I was so looking forward to getting to mile 20 and "Celebrating".

Eventually I got to mile 20 and just thought of the best things that have ever happened to me. Things like Alice and the kids were the first thing to pop into mind and it went from there. I even had a moment of paying homage to "the original Captain", my grandfather Neil. It took three miles and I couldn't think of any more great things. At one point I got a little "verclemt" going through my blessings.

At that moment, an idea popped into my head. I thought of the blog followers and decided to celebrate and honour them. I decided to "channel" all there well wishes and karmic energy that they gave me and pass it on.

For the last 5 km's I cheered on every athlete that was coming my way or passed me. I'd yell out words of encouragement. There was a lot of "whey to go, keep up the good work, looking strong, your almost home, etc, etc, etc". I also played it up big with the spectators and thanked as many volunteers as I came in contact with.

Those last 2 km's was "the Captain" cheering back to the spectators. I was saluting and thanking people for there cheers continuously. I could feel my speed picking up naturally. It was the most AWESOME 2 km's I've ever run.

Along the way I heard a cheer and looked behind me and it was Sonja. She looked so fresh I thought there was problem and she didn't do the race or had to drop out. I found out later she killed it with a 10:17.

Not much farther, I heard another female cheer and said "thanks sir", then I realized it was a women and said "I mean mam" and then I heard, it's Michelle (@Michelleford6p). Another twitter buddy, Sonja's friend and an awesome triathlete. I yelled back, "hey Michelle".

As I ran I had one other mantra, it was "no glowsticks". Last time I was here I spend a LOT of my time on the Queen K Hwy walking with glowsticks. The sun was almost down and they were just starting to hand out glowsticks, my motivation was to get to the finish before being handed a glowstick and I'm proud to say, I made it without a glowstick.

As I was coming down All'i drive, the crowds were cheering like mad, it was amazing. About 150 meters from the finish I had arranged for Alice to meet me and give me my finish line props. I had a Canadian Flag for one hand and a Prop Beer Glass in the other. She had the props, I apologized to her for being "a jerk" over the past week, gave her a kiss and continued on.

I can't tell you how many times I read the rules to make sure I wouldn't get DNF'd for crossing the line with a prop in my hand. I almost didn't do it, but I figured that so long as I get the medal and finishers shirt I could care less if they DNF my results.

For the last 150 meters I was estatic. I was waving my flag and yelling "It's beer time!!! It's beer time!!!, It's beer Time!!! Over and over and over. The crowd loved it, people were laughing and taking pictures and I couldn't have asked for a more "memorable" finish.

When I crossed the line I even pretended to take a drink from the beer glass. I felt amazing. It was a tough day, I had a respectable race time and more importantly, I felt GREAT!!!!! I couldn't have asked for a better race mentally and spiritually. It was MORE than what I even expected.

I started the day off "non-chalanent" and "not hyped" and finished "on Cloud nine". It was one of the GREATEST DAY'S OF MY LIFE!!!! I couldn't have scripted it any better.

When I crossed the line I had two catchers, a husband and wife team from Calgary who were on holidays in Kona and also triathletes. It was awesome, a Canadian being caught by a couple of Canadians. We had a great conversation as they lead me to the athlete and family area.

All I kept asking them was were I was to pick up my finishers shirt and medal. That's all I cared about.

I couldn't find Alice or Reid and waited in line to get a finishing line photo. I had them shoot three different poses. Afterwards I went for food and all they had left was ice cream, they ran out of Pizza.

My only complaint about the Kona Ironman was the food. The pre-race banquet was bad and the post-race food was non-existant. For the money they charge, it should be had "hot buffet". I'd even pay extra to have good food at the end.

In the end, I had a cup of vanilla and chocolate ice cream that I ate with a wooden spoon. Thankfully I felt great and wasn't near a bonk state.

Instead, I went to pick up my bike and gear. I couldn't find my run gear and found out Alice and Reid picked up my stuff, except for my bike transition bag. They lost it. Until I realzied they took my stuff, I thought my run gear was "misplaced or taken by mistake by someone else".

When I got back to the hotel I was hungry and Alice and I went out for a nice dinner. I had a 16 ounce piece of prime rib and ordered two beers at a time and told the waiter to keep them coming. I was starting to semi-bonk until I got some food in me and I then got my second wind.

Alice was tired from spectating and I still wanted to go out and party. I also wanted to watch the finish. I checked my email and twitter and Heather (@heatherkrug) asked if I wanted to hang out and I accepted the invitation.

It turns out that Heather is the PR person for Wheaties and she got me into the Wheaties private party that overlooked the finish line. It was the best location ever to view the finish and I had a birds eye view.

Later on Iain and his better half Shelly showed up. I'm sure Heather thought I was "trailer park" when I showed her I had two beers in the side pockets of my shorts. She was buying me beers and I was to lazy to go order more, so I'd pull one out, open it and start drinking.

Watching the finish was one of the most magical experiences I'd ever seen. The crowd was huge and the energy was electric. Even the pros showed up to congratulate the last place finisher. I recorded it all and will post it shortly.

It was the first finish I've ever attended and I don't think I'll ever miss another one. It was just awesome.

After it ended, the bar ran out of beer and no one wanted to "say out and play". I ended up going to a younger persons bar and eventually left or closed it down, it was a bit of a blur. I was probably 18 or more beers into it.

I didn't get back to the hotel until 3:30 am and ended up talking to some of the security personal as the race site was being "torn down". It was amazing to watch how in a matter of minutes the Ironman went from "everywhere" to being seen "no where". There was an army of people taking everything apart and loading it in trucks.

I would talk to one guy, he'd get sick of talking to a drunk and then make an excuse to leave, then I'd walk down the street and find another guy and the process would repeat and then I talked to a third guy before heading home.

All the guys I talked to couldn't believe I did the Ironman, I was walking fine and "up late". If I didn't have a finishers shirt on, I'm sure they wouldn't have believed me when I said I was one of the finishers.

Overall, it was a great day and I had a blast. Heck, it was "a great week". It was the most incredible experience and I'd recommend to anyone and everyone that they need to experience it. If they aren't fast enough to qualify, I'd suggest they enter the lottery every year. I think it's something every triathlete should experience at least once.

It exceeded every one of my expectations and "I'm still waiting to wake up from this dream".

Swim - 1:15:05

Bike - 5:47:01

Run - 4:12:34

Final - 11:24:33 (1150 of 1926 overall / 136 of 198 Age group)

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