Seven Oaks Place, the start of a wonderful live...

I was up early to catch my flight to Winnipeg for Mrs. Simkins funeral. The flight was delayed a couple hours because the airport was still trying to catch up from last night’s weather delays. Last night there was tornadoes near the airport., which are highly unusual for Toronto.

I arrived by noon and went out for lunch with my parents. I asked them where they took Reid when they were in New York. Reid told me that they really didn’t do much. Turns out that they went everywhere. For example, I’d ask Reid if he went to Central Park and he’d say no. Then my parents tell me they took him on a carriage ride through central park”. Then I’d ask Reid if he went to Wall Street, he’d say “no”. Then I find out he did go to Wall Street.

I can hardly wait until I get home because I downloaded almost 400 pictures that my parents camera. My plan is to go through them with the family and bug Reid about not going anywhere when he was in New York. My dad says Reid remembers things as well as I did when I was a kid.

I have a hate love relationship with funerals. When I was a kid I didn’t like death or funerals, I wouldn’t even go to my Grandma Guarino’s funeral. Funerals just brought on too much emotion. They freaked me out. As I got older, I faced my uneasiness and, reluctantly, would go to a funeral.

I find funerals emotional, even if I wasn’t close to the person who died. When you see family and friends getting up and talking lovingly about that person and recalling the good things they did, it’s touching and in most cases tear jerking.

Now I don’t mind going to funerals and hearing the good things about that person’s life. I find it introspective and it brings out the human side of life. People you may not know well, or co-workers, or business acquaintances become very human when you see them grieving. It puts life in perspective of what’s important and that we are all the same deep down.

When I lived in Winnipeg I used to read the obituaries. Winnipeg is a smaller City with a real sense of community. Everyone knows everyone and virtually everyone who dies has an obituary. Most people in Winnipeg read the obituaries because you never know who may have died that you knew.

When I read those obituaries, I found it interesting because you could tell a lot about a person's life by their obituary. If it was short or non-detailed, they may have lived a simple life, had no family or didn’t have many redeeming qualities. Then there would be others that were very long and detailed, factually written, highlighting a life and career accomplishments. But the ones that touched me the most were the ones that were longer and described a person that was loving and compassionate. Most of the time, this incredible person, would not even have any major career accomplishments.

It didn’t matter if they were male or female, young or old. Some obituaries would just describe the most wonderful person and you could feel the loss felt by those that knew that person. A few times, and Alice could verify this, there would be people I didn’t know, that seemed so remarkable and touched so many people, that I seriously thought about going to their funeral. I never did, but I remember telling Alice that this or that person’s death was tragic and I’d read parts of the obituary to her, most of the time getting choked up.

Mrs. Simkin was one of those wonderful people I’d read about. She was loving and caring and was someone you never forgot after you met her for the first time. One of her grandsons spoke at the funeral and his description of her as a grandmother was the same way I remembered her as a family friend. I'm sure everyone in the synagogue saw her the same way.

It's interesting that the things the grandkids most remembered was the simple things, like sitting around her kitchen table having her homemade chicken soup or her make sure the fridge was filled with each of their favorite foods when they visited. Even though she had physical limitations, she insisted on cooking and serving.

Mr. and Mrs. Simkin were married 63 years and I think were the perfect couple, the spark was still there after 63 years. The grandkids remember the respect and love they had for each other and saw them give each other kisses or loving touches often.

Mrs. Simkin had health issues and had very limited use of her hands, many times I saw Mr. Simkin helping her. He’d help her get dressed and even help her cut her food. On the outside it would look like Mr. Simkin, recognized as a very successful and powerful businessman, was the strong one in the family, but as I got to know the family, I realized that Mrs. Simkin was as strong if not stronger. She was a pillar of strength and love.

I don’t know what it is about a funeral but it makes me reflect on my own life. When I see the lives that Mrs. Simkin has touched so positively, in a simple manner, I wonder if I can better lead my life to do the same.

Reflection Day – Training of the Soul