Last night was the proverbial straw that broke the camels back. It started with Bob going to bed early and just Alice, Darlene and I partying. Then after a few hours, my brother got back up and the party went on longer and harder. Looking at the last nights pictures is reminding me of things I forgot about, like jumping on the trampoline with Darlene and Alice.
I did do one thing that is even too embarrassing for me to blog about. If you can believe that. It was fun at the time, but completely out of line and out of character. Alice had went to bed and my wheels "came completely off" and I did some crazy stuff just to get a laugh from Bob and Darlene. That's why I need my "guardian angel" not to leave me alone.
I had to get up at 11 am to see my Bob, Darlene and the kids off. I can't remember feeling this bad in a long time. I was still drunk and woke up with the shakes. Not pretty. After they left, I went back to bed and slept until 3 pm. When I got up I still felt no better.
I was going to go to the YMCA but didn't for three reasons. The first was that I didn't think I was in any condition to drive myself there. The second was that I felt like I was going to have a heart attack and even swimming would be difficult. And the third was that it was Thanksgiving and the pool is closing at 5 pm, not giving me enough time. So I deferred the workouts a day.
I can party and party and party and get up the next morning, train, and party some more. The problem is that based on the way I feel right now, I seriously think I'm going to die young if I don't get myself under control. It just seems like so much fun at the time and unfortunately I have no "off" switch.
The worse part was that I felt so good on Friday from a week of clean living. Now I've got to start all over. Complete self-sabotage. I got to figure this thing out. I don't like the way I feel right now.
"A man's resolve is never stronger than the day after his worst night of weakness" - I think I heard that somewhere. It's so true.
Booze recovery & Detox day
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2 comments:
I was recently indulging in lots of extreme exercise as well as late night Irish car bombs/ beer/ shots at friends houses. After one morning of sabotaging all my efforts to feel good and healthy I decided that training and drinking don't play well together and I need to pick one. Since I don't want to have a big gut or buy clothes that would fit my body if I let it get fat I chose training. It's been about a month and now drinking seems like a waste of time to me. (I stay up late stealing tomorrow's first half and it tanks the next day for me.)
Yeah, I'm with yah. I think I'm almost there, or at least I should be. I think if I can just make it 21 days, I can stop for good. Problem is I love the mania.
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