Party on Garth...

It's OFFICIAL. The "House of Payne 5 km Beer Run" and "Payne-a-Polooza" is scheduled for Saturday, August 28th. Mark your calendars, you don't want to miss it. Be there, or be square.

This year I'll be hosting two events on the same day. The third annual "House of Payne" beer run will begin at noon, followed by "Payne-a-Polooza" at 4 pm. For most people, I'm assuming it will be a "double header". At least for the "real men and women".

The rules of the beer run are quite simple. You bring a 6 pack of beer, no less than 4% alcohol and when the gun goes off, you drink one, run a kilometer, drink another and so on. After you finish your 5th and final kilometer, you drink your 6th beer. Once you finish that beer, the timer stops. If you throw up, or every time you throw up, you have to drink a penalty beer and run a penalty lap.

It's a prediction race, which means you don't wear a watch and you have to predict your time before the start. Whoever predicts closest, wins. Everyone has an equal chance to win. Last year, our third place finisher did the 5 km's and 6 beers in 71:38. The fastest its been done is by yours truly in 24:48 and I've finished 2nd in each year.

To get more information check out www.houseofpaynebeerrun.blogspot.com Info will be posted in the next day or two.

This is the first year I'm having "Payne-a-Polooza". It's going to be a rock'n backyard party and the only way your invited is if you contribute to the Training Payne Party Fund, unless you're a student and are granted a TPPF bursary like LHarp.

In anticipation of both events, and knowing some people may be travelling from far and abroad, I encourage people to bring air mattresses and or tents. I've got a four bedroom tent that will be set up. I've got extra bedrooms in the house and lots of floor space. I also have a tool shed and bathtubs.

I'm going to see if my neighbours have extra room as well. For those that have a "weak stomach", there's a Motel 6 about 3 miles down the road. I DO NOT want anyone drinking and driving, unless it's the mini bike in the backyard or though the house. I have to draw the line somewhere.

Training wise, I switched my sessions today. I did my bike speed work today in anticipation of doing a longer moderate ride with Rueban on Wednesday. He's is a friend of Simon's from Malaysia. He and his wife are coming over to my place for a visit. Rueban and I are going to ride for a few hours and then we'll have a barbecue and beers afterwards. I'm looking forward to it.

Them being from Malaysia, I would think their dish of choice would be "rat, snake or squirrel" . I'd like to accommodate, but Costco Canada doesn't sell any of those delicacies. I hope they like "cow" and it's not against their religion to eat it. I'll probably just tell them it's Canadian rat. Hopefully they won't know the difference.

In the last few weeks, I've put on about 3 or 4 extra pounds and now I'm focused on getting rid of them. The strange part is that in the past week my training has been strong. In the last 7 days, I've done over 400 km's of training and it's been hard for me to get my heart rate over 140 bpm. Even today, I tried something different, I pushed hard at only 70 rpm and had a tough time getting anaerobic.

I'm also very relaxed about IMLP. In my current shape, on any given weekend I could finish it respectfully. The only thing I need to do more of is swim. Last month I didn't swim much and my times reflect it. As long as I swim steady for the last 4 weeks before IMLP, I'm not worried.

To help prepare for IMLP, Doru (aka Steve) and I are doing epic camp at Lake Placid on Friday. It's informal and free. It's just a bunch of guys showing up and training together. We'll be doing a 3000 meter swim, we'll be riding the full 180 km bike course and then we'll be running one 13.1 mile loop of the marathon. Then it's Miller time afterwards. It should be fun.

Speed bike - 1:10:38 / 34.47 km / 29.3 kph

Cookies anyone...

My plan was to go to the party last night and then, if possible, do the Woodstock triathlon the following morning. The key phrase in that sentence is "if possible".

In order to get to Woodstock and get registered and ready, I would have had to leave the house around the same time I got home from the party. Other than being inebriated, there was some other reasons I didn't do the race.

The first was I had none of my gear ready, and was in no condition to find it, or at least to find it before the race started. The second was that I was in no condition to drive. The third, assuming Alyssa would have drove me, I don't think it's legal to do a triathlon "under the influence". I'm assuming, although the rule book may say different.

It's not like I couldn't do the race, I've trained in similar conditions. My biggest fear would have been getting pulled over by the cops for a D.U.I., they're normally at a race in droves directing traffic and I'm sure they would have smelt me as I rode by.

I hear you can get a D.U.I regards of whether your driving a car or riding a bike. It's just not worth it, it was only a sprint distance. If it was an Ironman, well that would've been a different story. Oh, and I don't want to lose my triathlon racing privilege's, and I guess I don't want to lose my drivers license either.

In any event, I slept it off and woke up just pass the "crack of noon". It was one of those open your eyes while your lying still on the flat on your back with only your eyeballs scanning the room and going "what happened last night and it appears I'm okay. And who's bedroom is this? And Oh, I recognize it now. It's mine".

I actually felt okay, no hangover, just a foggy and tired. I wrote my blog and as I was walking around the kitchen, I noticed there was about 5 cookies in the side pockets of my shorts. At first, I was like "how did cookies get in my pockets". Three of the cookies were intact, one broken in half and the other dust.

It all started to come back to me. I got the cookies at the Party. It was a very responsible party, with neighbours, skiers, triathletes, granola eaters and white haired seniors. Everyone was to bring a side dish, we brought pasta salad and someone else brought magic cookies. It was probably that senior with the walker, I knew she looked to healthy for a walker.

I learnt about them late late at night and I was in somewhat of an altered state. I don't do magic cookies or anything involved with the "magic". It's not my scene, I have enough problems with beer, and I tell my kids I wouldn't condone them doing it either. To me magic cookies are like "big foot", I've only heard of them and seen them in the movies, but never in real life.

I then had a brilliant idea, "I should take some and put them in the kids school lunches". I could just imagine each of them "tripping" on Monday. It seemed like a good idea at the time.

As I pulled them out of my pockets, my mature, unaltered, 17 year old self was back and I realized giving them to the kids would be "inappropriate" behaviour. But I didn't want to have them go to waste, it looked like someone went to a lot of work to make those magic cookies and organic food is expensive.

Reid came in the kitchen and I told him what they were. He was in disbelief, he know's I'm not a supporter of anything that has to do with magic "in or outside" of cookies. I could tell he got a charge out of it. After all, HE's only seen them in the movies as well and WHO's dad brings home magic cookies. I saw this as a "father son memory and bonding moment", and I felt "it could be expanded on".

So I asked Reid not to say anything and offer them to Nazaire, Alyssa's boyfriend. He pretty much eats anything that's offered to him, he's a garbage can that way. He ate one, then another and then the next thing I know, they were all gone. It didn't take long and then "the magic kicked in" and he was gone too. I guess they REALLY were magic cookies, I wasn't 100% sure. After all, it's not a common party "side dish" unless it's a Rastafarian party.

The next couple hours, before I had to drive Reid to swim club, was quite entertaining. Nazaire started with laughter and ended with sleep. Even when he feel asleep it was still funny. He was making lots of twitching faces like he was having a pretty dramatic dream.

For the rest of the afternoon I was tired and putting off my long run. The clock finally tolled 8:30 pm and it was the moment of truth. It would have been so easy to say home. I convinced myself differently, I pushed myself out the door and went for my run.

I headed for the escarpment with my high powered flashing red light and it didn't take long before it was dark. And when I mean dark, I mean near darkness. It is the countryside, with big trees lining most of the road and no street lights.

It was actually a scary run. I didn't realize it before hand, but all the little critters start coming out when the sun goes down. At one point, I saw two little figures on the road, I wasn't sure what they were. From a distance they looked like little skunks. As I got closer, I realized they were baby raccoons. I got a little freaked, momma couldn't be too far away and I don't think raccoons are the playful type. Especially if they have "rabies".

As I ran by I was relieved until I looked back and saw the two of them not moving from the road and almost getting run over by a car. The car tire missed them by inches. I didn't want to see their little bodies and brains get splattered all over the road. It would have been heart breaking. I was also thinking, what kind of mother raccoon is that, "she's sure not taking care of her babies", that is unless they were orphans.

I had a great run. It felt like my legs were a separate part of my body, like I was riding a horse. My upper body was just along for the ride. The road was deserted for the most part and less than 10 cars passed by me the entire time. However, their headlights were blinding, I couldn't even see where I was on the road. I had to stop and step to the side of the road when they passed, just to be safe.

I got home just before 11 and checked my email. I got a generous $20 donation to the TPPF from Rodney and a promise of a donation from Dave, who had been drinking and who didn't end up making one. Although it wouldn't surprise me if he entered the wrong credit card information, he was having trouble just spelling "By", he spelt is "Bt", and he's a teacher. Drinking on a Sunday night, I like his style. I hope he was marking papers too. That would be"classic".

My picture of the day is courtesy of my Uncle Neil. It's from my hometown of Winnipeg, specifically behind my cousins house. It's shows what it looks like every spring when my cousin leaves the hose on my mistake and over waters her trees.

Actually, it's a photo of what happens every year when the prairie snow melts and the small pond behind the house becomes the second biggest lake in Manitoba. They've turned it into a business and now rent out pedal boats. That's why they can live in such a nice neighbourhood.

Long Run - 2:09:10 / 24.65 km / 5:13 pace / 136 avg hr

Back in the groove...

I felt great today. I did a 7 hour ride, followed by a brick run, and it was "easy". I didn't even feel like I had worked out today.

I was even pushing it early on the bike . There was a large pack of decent riders in front of me and it took me about 15 minutes, but I finally caught and passed them. A couple of the guys stayed with me and we rode together for a bit.

Mark was one of the guys. He's a strong rider, a little bit older than me and lives nearby. I got his email and plan on dropping him a line when I go on some longer rides. It's always more fun riding and chatting with someone at a good pace. Mark also says he likes his beer, which could make it even more interesting.

Today was a good ride. It was supposed to rain and didn't. With humidex, it was around 29C and the wind was about 26 kph, gusting up to 33 kph. The wind made it a challenging ride. For the first 111 km, I averaged 32 kph and then the wind picked up and it slowed me down big time.

The highlight of the day wasn't my training, it was John Fortin's backyard party. Alice and I got there around 7 pm and it was cooking. They had a live band playing and the place was rocking with people. Great energy.

For the rest of the night, Alice and I hung out with Doru and Miha and as people left the party, the party moved to our table. It was a lot of fun with lots of laughs. It was the only party I've been to where people used the bathroom for more than peeing.

At one point, I had to stand outside of the bathroom door for near 10 minutes. When the door eventually opened, out came John with a big smile on his face saying "You don't want to go in there". It smelt like the worst crap, just took a crap.

I had no choice but to go in, I really had to go. I pulled my shirt up over my nose and proceeded with caution. John must have been eating "sponge" because there was one the size of a piece of corn still floating around that didn't make it down on the first flush. I made a water sport out of it by moving it around the toilet with my "pee stream".

Later on in the night I had to go again. This time it was disgusting. Someone took a massive crap and flushed, but they must have crapped out crayon because it looked like they used it to draw all over the bowl.

I tried to make a game out of it again and used my "pee stream" to clean off some of the markings. I managed to get the stuff above the water line done, but not all the stuff below. My tank was empty.

When I got back to the table, I told John about the gift one of his guest left for him and that he might want to get his pressure washer out of the garage and use it to clean the toilet. There is no question that John's a competitor, the minute I told him, he rushed to the bathroom and used his "internal pressure washer" to clean the rest. I was in disbelief and impressed with the psi John would have needed to do it.

Doru on the other hand, provided a good laugh when he walked into the screen door. He didn't see it and "wham", he bounced off. He hit is so hard with his face, it drew blood. I was shocked the door or his glasses didn't break. Screen door $50, beers $20, watching Doru walk into screen door, "priceless".

I also found out that the in Romanian, Doru means "Steve".

The party eventually moved downstairs to John's bar once it started raining. It was around 3 am and there was only about 6 of us left. It was fun, I've never seen John laugh so much when I announced, "Do you know what I like about me?!". I thought he was going to "pee himself". I knew first hand that's all he had left inside him.

I also negotiated a deal with John where I'll rent Reid out to him for $65 a day to pretend he's his son. Unfortunately John isn't able to have kids and rather than tell him that it's because he's "been putting it in the wrong hole", I figured I could make a few bucks off him instead.

Alyssa and Nazaire dropped us off and picked us up at sometime after 4 am. I must say, having kids is not easy, but having them chauffeur you around when your drunk makes it all worth while.

Long Bike - 7:01:59 / 213.57 km / 30.3 km avg / 140 avg hr / 3511 ft climbing

Brick Run - 30:03 / 6.05 km / 4:58 pace / 141 avg hr

20

Matty O...

It was another good and productive day of work and training today. When I got home, Nazaire topped it off by buying and putting six Coors Light Tall boys in my fridge for me.

I love the fact that Naziare now has a job and is my newest "contributor to the TPPF".

Even though I didn't get to bed until 3 am last night because I had to re-write the blog after losing 90 minutes of my work, it was worth it.

I almost didn't re-write it, I was so frustrated. I lost everything because I switched to the new blogger editor, and if you hit the wrong key when typing the blog, you lose everything, and you can't undo it.

I did the same thing tonight, I lost part of my initial blog post. This is now my second attempt at writing tonight's blog. At least I was only twenty minutes into it this time. Needless to say, I reverted back on the old editor.

I'm so glad that I finished yesterday's post. There was so many great comments that came out of it. I find reading the comments very rewarding. I've learnt that many people who read my blog didn't even know about the comments section on the blog. I tell them they "have to read the comments!" Some are touching, some are funny and others are priceless.

To find the comments section, you go to the bottom of the blog and click on the word "comments" and they will appear. You can read them or send your own comment. Usually the day after, I leave my reply to those that took the time to write a comment. Sometimes I think the comments are more interesting and funny to read than the blog.

Yesterday, was one of those days, that I got a "great comment". It was one of those comments that I thought needed to be taken "off the sidelines " and "put onto the field". It was from Matty O. If you didn't read yesterday's post. STOP. Read it now, then come back and read Matty O's comment.

Matty O is a PFG, who enjoys reading my blog and making me laugh with his "good sense of humour" and "smart ass comments". Heck, just look at his "Fat Guy Picture" above, those shorts are hilarious, and he had the "gall" to make fun of my purple disco shorts from 25 years ago. I bet you he STILL has those shorts in his drawer.

The fact of the matter is, Matty O didn't take that picture to show his "unhappiness". I realized it was actually his portfolio shot. He was trying to become an "Over-sized Male Model". The pose gave it away.

If you're too fat, lazy and ugly to read yesterdays post, Matty O's comment was in response to a paragraph in yesterday's blog post and I found it was worth re-publishing. I want to make sure it's in my next book:

Excerpt from yesterdays Post:

"On the plane, the person beside me was a young asian looking interning doctor named Jane who was researching obesity and was trying to understand what motivated people to lose weight. I told her I was a Previous Fat Guy (PFG) and I didn’t have an "on the spot real answer" for her on “what motivated me to lose weight”. I told her I’d post the question on my blog for other PFG’s to answer in the comments section.

So for all you PFG's or PFG wanna bees or skinnies that want to become fat so they can become PFG's, please answer Jane's question in the comments box".

Matty O's Response

I have a long PFG story. Wanted to submit it with pics for your PFG blog... BUT in a nut shell. I was a fat ass growing up, pretty damn close to Reid's size (sorry Reid, you were a fat ass). Got tired of being made fun of in school, had zero self esteem, and would make fun of myself before the others did so that it didn't hurt as much when they made their comments.

Up until 11th grade I was overweight. The spring of my 10th grade year I went out for the track distance team. I got cut. They had NEVER cut 1 kid from track in the existence of the program. I was FURIOUS, HUMILIATED, and honestly HURT. I was the laughing stock of the entire track team because he announced me being cut in front of the whole team (100 + kids).

The track coach was also the XC coach. I trained all spring and all summer, running out of rage and fury and pure revenge. Started losing weight that summer, and my endurance was forced upon my large frame. I tried out for XC over summer and ended up being the #3 guy on the varsity team. (After making fun of my coach and telling him that I was the father of his daughter for 2 years, (he was an ex marine) he came after me one day swinging and I laid him out... one of the greatest days of my life, revenge is oh so sweet).

I have gone back to being a fat guy several times. I get stressed and lazy and let it go, it comes back fast, and each time it hurts more. The last time was this past winter. I was plowing snow in my truck and my size 38 pants (the largest I have ever owned) would not fit, I had to unbutton and unzip the pants to sit in my truck.

I told my wife Heather, I am officially done being a fatty. We got serious about working out and I have my fitness back. I was right around 245lbs +/- in January. I am 190lbs now. I lost the weight in 3 months and like you B I hope to never go back to that person that I was. Because I was not happy about myself then.

My motivation for being a PFG, happiness. I wanted a life that I would enjoy, I wanted my joints to stop hurting, I wanted to be able to go for a run and not be tired like I used to be able to. I wanted to enjoy life and not get told that I can't do excursions on vacations because I weigh too much.

Everyone has a story, everyone has been shaped by events in their life. I have learned that kids are assholes and that through them being assholes, they shape who you become. I am proud to say that I am far better off because they made fun of me.

On another note, CONGRATS on signing the deal. I need to learn the ways of the spoon bottle opener!!!

Keep up the good vibes man, way to pull through the slump!!!

Epilogue

Please leave your comments on my blog for Matty O and let him know what you think of his comment.

I found it VERY TOUCHING. He overcame great humiliation and accomplished so much. However, I wasn't most impressed that he could lose the weight and overcome incredible odds, I was most impressed that he "laid out" his coach and "daughters step dad". How cool is that.

Long Swim - 59:46 / 3000 meters

Weights - 45 minutes

10

I'm flying...

I know I’m feeling better when I get my sense of humor back. I don’t care if others think I’m funny, so long as I do. I can laugh at my jokes all day long. Just ask my family.

My family is often bewildered that I’ll be sitting at my computer and out of the blue I’ll start laughing. They find it quite funny because it’s often a “snot blowing” laugh. It’s either from me getting a funny tweet or blog comment or me sending one that I think is a zinger.

Beer also really helps “blow the snot”. Everything seems so much funnier when you’re drinking. I must say, who ever invented alcohol was a damn genius.

Could you imagine the world without alcohol? People would be high on pot and narcotics all the time. There would be no “blabbing” or “falling down and not being able to get up without assistance” or no “whiskey dick” or no “I love you mans”. I don’t know about you, but it’s not a world I’d want to raise my kids in.

Today was a planned no training day. I had to fly to the US and get a contract signed. It has the potential to be the biggest deal I’ve ever done in my career. To help me dress for success, Alice even picked me up a new pair of jeans. Unfortunately they didn’t fit. As a side bar, you know your getting old when your wife is buying you clothes and bringing them home for you to try on.

In the end it didn’t matter. I had damning video of the buyer in the back seat of a car with a transvestite midget hooker with a peg leg and scary bad teeth and breath. I really appreciated my brother helping me out on this one and I felt bad about his dress getting stained. I owe him / her big time. (Training Payne Sales Secret #141).

I should write a book, “How to win friends and influence people with a video camera” or “Never underestimate the power of extortion”. In actual fact, I earned this account the old fashioned way, I kissed ass. I’m just kidding, I didn’t kiss ass, I licked it!

I say all that in jest. It was a tough account to get. The buyer may have been one of the most pragmatic and thorough that I’ve ever met. I even told him about my blog and in spite of that he still chose to deal with me. It just shows how good we are at manufacturing.

The one thing I’ve always been most proud of is that I’m the same person no matter who meets me. Whether it is a customer, or a friend, they both think I’m an A-hole. It’s something I’ve worked hard at perfecting over the years. It requires a very high level of consistency, which is not an easy thing to do.

I had a bit of a scare that the deal wasn’t going to be signed today. There had been a LOT of work put into the proposal and pricing and due diligence and today was supposed to be the “ceremonial signing”.

Myself, and a couple of my key people flew down to meet with their key people. It was a large boardroom full of key people. Even the owner of the company, who is a self-made technology billionaire, was in the meeting.

One of the key decision makers hadn’t yet read the contract and was reading it for the first time as we sat in the boardroom. He was reading it intensely and closely and it looked like he was scrutinizing every word. The contract was very fair and reasonable, but it was unsettling to watch.

He then asked us to wait in the boardroom and asked his group to meet privately with him in another room. He had some things he wanted to discuss before he was prepared to sign. That definitely added to the drama. I was just thinking, "I spent a lot of money to fly our group here and I may not return home with a signed contract?" That’s not going to impress my new ex-boss. My sphincter was at level 11 out of a possible 10.

After it was all said and done, they were happy to sign it and I was happy to have it signed.

The best part of the day was the post beers celebration. This company has the coolest “digs”. They have lots of programmers and it’s a very creative environment. It’s very Silicon Valley. The lunchroom is filled with every type of free snack. It seemed like a convenience store, with all the goodies and no “Apu” (Simpsons Reference). I even took a couple of slim-jims for the ride to the airport.

After the agreement was signed, our key contact opened the fridge and pulled out four Molson Canadians. He couldn’t find an opener, so I used a spoon handle. I knew learning that skill would come in handy one day. Take that naysayers. We then toasted and enjoyed a nice cold one before our cab whisked us away to the airport.

On the plane, the person beside me was a young asian looking interning doctor named Jane who was researching obesity and was trying to understand what motivated people to lose weight. I told her I was a Previous Fat Guy (PFG) and I didn’t have an "on the spot real answer" for her on “what motivated me to lose weight”. I told her I’d post the question on my blog for other PFG’s to answer in the comments section.

So for all you PFG's or PFG wanna bees or skinnies that want to become fat so they can become PFG's, please answer Jane's question in the comments box.

I did tell her about my beer consumption and she was gentle about it and didn't bring out the traditional "doctor paddle" that I'm used to. It was more like "that's interesting, have you seen a doctor lately?".

I plan on having an answer to Jane's question in an upcoming blog post, once I think of what the overriding reason was, other than wanting to become a “Masters” Chippendales dancer.

The rest of the night was airport waiting, drinking beer, waiting, twittering eating, twittering drinking beer, waiting, flight delayed, twittering more beer, bathroom break, twittering and more beer. I didn’t get home until after midnight. Then I spent 90 minutes righting the blog and lost it all and had to redo it.

Rest Day – No Training.
10

Eating it up...

It's amazing how 72 hours can seem like a lifetime ago. I feel so much better today.

I think the secret is identifying there is a problem and then trying to figure out how to solve it.

When I woke up this morning I also had an epiphany, "What do I WANT to do with my future?" as opposed to "What am I going to do?".

Last night I was thinking of my dad, he was in a similar situation when we started our business together in 1990. He had left a company that he ran for over 20 years and now found himself in unfamiliar territory.

Shortly after we started, I remember walking into his office and seeing this "shell shocked" look on his face and he was staring into space. It was the first and only time I've seen that, I didn't understand it. Now, twenty years later, I find myself in a similar situation and I understand it. He was "disoriented and probably a little scared or worried".

I had a great day of training, over 5 hours. It felt like old times. It was like I hadn't missed a beat. The entire time on the bike I listened to podcasts. Most were about Internet marketing, but one hour was about sales.

It's been so long since I've listened to anything that has to do with sales. Listening to it reminded me of when I was in my twenty's and early thirties.

Back then I listened to all sorts of motivation tapes from people like "Zig Ziglar and Tony Robbins" and I read all the classic motivational books, which included Napoleon Hill's "Think and grow rich", Dale Carnegie "How to win friends and influence people" and Norman Vincent Peale's "the power of positive thinking".

It's funny, even after 20 plus years, the sales training rhetoric is still the same. Nothings changed, even the terms and phrases are the same. It's all regurgitation. If I was starting out in my career, I'd find it all enlightening, as if it's all newly developed information. Little do the new-bees know how long this material has been around.

With all that said, it's still great stuff. You can't listen to a sales motivational podcast without getting pumped. Everything is "positive and optimistic". They went through basic things like goal setting and time management, which is very apropos for my current situation. I really enjoyed hearing it all again. It's all good stuff.

About an hour into the ride, it started raining. My first thought was, "are you happy Simon?" My plan was to be a fair weather rider and Simon was giving me a bad time for being a PUSSY and not riding in the rain. I was thinking, "who's NOT the PUSSY now!!!".

Those thoughts came to me as I took a picture of today's training food. Before the ride, I picked up two McDonald's hamburgers and put them in the back of my cycling jersey. I must say, they are a great riding food. They were easy to chew and swallow. That's the test, "can I chew and swallow without water?" I think it the ketchup and grease must help with the "slide-age factor".

When I got back, I felt great mentally and emotionally. It was like I did a 180 degree turn from Monday. I was taking off my shoes at the back landing and consciously noticed the difference. I felt like I was back on track. Hopefully the feeling lasts.

I had a post dinner nap and was off to the Y to finish yesterday's swim and do weights. I could tell my arms are starting to atrophy. I forgot my watch and had to use the timer on the wall. I think I was swimming around 1:38 - 1:45 per hundred meters. I was only going to do 2400 meters, but sucked it up and did my regular 3000.

Right out of the pool, I rushed to get my weight training done, I only had 45 minutes before closing.

The overcoming feeling I had at the Y was that I was back in a good zone. I was thinking and realized that this training lifestyle can't have an endpoint. It's not even worth evaluating "if you should do it", it's a"just do it and don't think about it"

I still had another Dairy Queen Blizzard on the way to the pool. I still need my comfort food, but I did order a small. I'm weening myself.

I've decided I want to buy a Kegerator and I need about $500 from donations. It's going to be a fine addition to the House of Payne Beer Run and Payne-a-Polooza, not to mention I'll probably keep it beside me at the dinner table every night. But I need your help.

Or donate to the TPPF and get your personal invitation to Payne-a-Polooza. The event date will be posted this week.

Tomorrow is a forced rest day. I'm up at 4 am to go to Raleigh, North Carolina to kick off the integration with the big account I just sold. Unfortunately I won't be back until 11 pm. I'm glad I had a good training day today, I won't feel guilty tomorrow.

Mod Bike - 3:27:56 / 103.20 km / 29.78 kph / 116 avg hr.

Tempo Swim - 1:05 / 3000 meters

Weights - 45 minutes

Sucking it up...

Thanks for all the words of support and encouragement to help me get my "Mojo" back. When you set a PB for beers in a single month, you know someones up, down or both.

When I posted yesterday's picture, that was for ME. I never want to go back to being THAT guy. It wasn't a fond memory. I was hoping by posting it, it would help "snap me out of my funk".

At one time I couldn't look at my "fat guy" photo's, now I don't mind posting them. It shows what's possible and I'm proud of what I accomplished and don't want to go back to being him.

I started the day off "weak" and ended "strong". I went to the Y for an early morning swim and only managed 600 meters. I was lucky to even force myself into the building. I drove slowly around the parking lot, looking for one of the few available spots and considering if I should even go in. I did, but obviously not for long.

There's been a work project I've been putting off for sometime and as I was swimming I made a deal with myself that I could "quit" the swim if I committed to finishing the next required step to move this project forward.

I took the deal. I thought it was a fair one, my future depends on successfully moving this along and I wasn't "giving up the swim to doing nothing, the work task was an equality unpleasant task". I was just trading one necessary evil for another. At least that's how I justified it in my mind.

Throughout the day I was getting supportive comments about yesterday's blog post, which really helped lift my spirits. The spirit of the messages were "no kidding your stressed with everything that has gone on" and "we know you'll overcome this" and Simon's soliloquy "don't be a pussy".

I did end up completing the next phase of the project. I was reviewing, testing and noting programming changes for a website. It was bitter sweet. I spent over three hours doing it and mistakenly didn't save the word document and lost two-thirds of the bugs I found. I NEVER not save!!!

I was furious. I worked so hard and now I had to effectively start over. This morning I woke up irritable and now I was beyond irritable, "I was major league pissed off". It was NOT a good scene. I was working from the kitchen table and I was getting frustrated with Alice moving around and Alyssa asking me a question.

I snapped at both of them. I was like, "I can't work with you walking around and making noise! Don't ask me a question, can't you see I'm busy! I need to work from the basement where I'll have peace! Uggggggghhhh!

I was mentally drained from over three hours of intense testing and I was upset from losing most of my work. To cope in a positive way, I decided to force myself out of the house and go for my scheduled moderate run.

It took 20 minutes into the run and the endorphins started to kick in and I started to "unwind". Then I started to think, "What's really bugging me? It's got to be something deeper and when I figure it out, what am I going to do about it? How am I going to solve this problem?"

As I ran, I started exploring those questions. I came up with a "theory", and I think I'm probably right, but I need more "training time" to explore it deeper. Essentially, I think it's me coming to grips with starting a complete lifestyle change. Mentally, I haven't yet got my head wrapped around it.

Earlier in the day, I had a conversation with a competitor that I've regularly touched base with over the years. He said he could tell I'm "disorientated". I was surprised he picked up on that. He said, "It must be tough to go from 20 years of being in charge to not being in charge. He also didn't know if I'd be able to work from home, if it suited my personality".

I had lots to think about on my run. The one thing I know about me is that "I can turn on a dime". If the average person needs a month to work through a problem, I need less than a week, sometimes only a day. I'm more comfortable in "action mode" than I am in "dwell mode".

I'm not sure if that's a good thing or a bad thing. Although, I've always thought if you make a mistake, just adjust quickly and reverse it or learn from it and move on.

To me, I've always said, "Motion is lotion". On my run, I started to visualize what actions I'd need to take. In actual fact, I spent most of my run "visualizing" my new life and what would be required moving into the future.

I was thinking, "How am I now going to balance my career, training and family priorities in my new reality? What was my new life going to have to look like? What would I be needing to do on a daily basis? What mentality and attitude am I going have to carry moving forward? What am I going to be doing a year or two down the road? How long is it going to take for me to regain a personal comfort level?"

I came back with one thought, it's going to require "learning, being smart and working hard". I can't be complacent. What I'll be doing down the road will be based on my current behaviour. I also came back with an action plan, "I need to get back to basic time management and goal setting. I need to make the most of everyday and track that I'm moving in the right direction".

By the time I got back from my run I was "tolerant". I wasn't Zen, but I was much better. I felt good about today, I felt like I accomplished something and I was getting closer to understanding and solving my challenges.

It wasn't a perfect day, after dinner, I still had to go for comfort food at Baskin Robbins for their version of a "Dairy Queen blizzard" and I needed a nap, but I felt like I'm moving in the right direction. I put the day in the positive category.

Speed swim - 12:51 / 600 meters

Mod Run - 1:25:31 / 16.35 km / 5:13 pace