Tuesday, May 18, 2010

Beer, Cigars and 70's Music...

If you like reading my blog, I mean really like reading my blog, please donate now.

Your financial contribution will help keep me in the lifestyle to which I've been accustomed and the more fun I have, the more entertaining the posts you'll get to read.

Today, my buddy Al, the cheapest man on the planet and maybe even the universe, told me he enjoys reading my blog so much, that he'd be prepared to pay to do it. I almost had a heart attack. I had to look out the window to make sure the world wasn't coming to an end.

Al is not a triathlete, he's a long-time friend and a future PFG. Last year, I motivated him to buy a bike and I'm trying to convince him to do a sprint triathlon this year. He lives in St. Catherines and reads my blog regularly. He has also gotten his friends and future PFG's reading my blog.

He explained that he likes reading my blog because I blend triathlons with partying and having fun and I motivate him while also making him laugh. He says most triathletes tend to be somewhat one-dimensional and I'm an example that you don't have to be. Actually I think the exact phrase he used was "triathletes are boring and I might be starting a new movement". His words, not mine.

I'd love to make money off my blog. Alice would love it even more. She and the kids give me a bad time about the amount of time I spend blogging. On average it's about 90 minutes a night, sometimes more.

By enlarge, I enjoy doing it and know people look forward to reading it. It also keeps me motivated to keep up my training when I know others are watching. With that said, it would be great to make a little extra money doing what I love doing. Isn't that everyones dream.

I've been tracking the growth of my blog since day one. In the past 30 days, my blog has got 6027 hits and has had 2201 unique visitors. It's currently growing over 48.34% every 30 days and 35.52% is direct traffic. It's cool to see the numbers grow, it tells me people must enjoy reading about my lifestyle adventures.

When I tell others about the blogs growth, everyone tells me, "You should be making money off it" and then give me suggestions. The most common suggestions are that I should put up google ads or banner ads. I've never much liked that approach, I felt it would just clutter the layout and look like my blog is a ploy to make money.

Today, Al gave me the idea to add a "Reader Donation button". I loved the idea. It's a direct "I don't mind taking your money", no BS approach, and keeps the blog clean and easy to read.

Now the PBS Sales Pitch:

If you like my blog and get something out of it, I'll gladly take your money. You'd be donating to my TRAINING PAYNE PARTY FUND or TPPF for short. It's kind of like my personal for-profit charity. The best part is you'll receive NO tax benefits or receipts. Why kill more trees.

When you donate to other charities, you never know how your money is spent. In many cases the money you donated is spent on administration, sales and overhead costs. In some cases, very little goes to the actual charity.

My TPPF is a purely "transparent fund". It's important to me that my readers know how their donation dollars are spent.

First off, my TPPF has NO staff or overhead and never will. It's just me. Every dollar donated goes to buy "beer, cigars and pay for my satellite radio subscription", any money left over, I'll be forced to WASTE on "triathlon training gear, race fees and travel expenses". And in the REMOTE event that there is ANY money left over after that, I'll put it towards buying a new liver.

My TPPF does not market itself with gimmicks. I don't like it when an organization promotes that "a portion of your donation will be re-donated to another charity". My TPPF collects the money and it is given directly to me. No one else will get a nickel.

In fact, TPPF encourages those with terminal illnesses and disabilities to also donate, and if possible, often. I don't discriminate. My TPPF will also accept any bequeathments and will allow anyone to put my name as a beneficiary on their will, no written permission required. Of course, in all of the above cases, only donate if you find supporting my writing efforts worth while.

Your donations will relieve some of my financial pressures and keep me in the "training fun zone". By "training fun zone", I mean "train, party, have fun and blog about it and do it all over again and again" zone. As a matter of fact, if you think I'm too tethered at any given moment, and you'd like to liven me up, your immediate readership donation will "grease the fun wheels", if you know what I mean.

From time to time, my TPPF will be asking for the generosity of those "deadbeats" that enjoy reading my blog regularly and are too cheap to "throw me a beer". Er, being politically correct, I mean I'm going to be asking your generosity to help build my paid readership base.

Every little bit helps, no donations are too small. If I could get just 1 million people to give me $1 each, or 1 person to donate $1 million dollars, I'd be halfway to my yearly goal.

Currently, I'm promoting a PBS type "Builder Program". For a limited time, those that donate $1000 or more will be recognized as "Life-time Platinum Training Payne Reader". You will receive a free copy of my new book, "How to get 3 hookers and a free hotel room for under $10". Knowing those secrets alone are well worth the $1000. Some of you will make that money back in no time.

To make it easy, I've set up three levels of donations. The first is a $5 donation to buy me a beer. The second is a $7.50 donation to buy me a fine cuban cigar and the third level is "readers choice". The only thing to be aware of is that there is a 10 cent minimum.

Whoever does "pony up the money", I'll recognize them on the blog and for the first 50 paid readers, you get a one day membership to the "Training Payne Party Training Center" which is located in the basement of my home. It will be one hell of a workout. PAYNE-A-POLOOZA -Happening August 28th, 2010.

It's now 1:35 am, I've been writing since this post since 11 pm. (This is the point where you go...poor guy...he's giving it his all...I need to "give him some pocket money to keep his wife Alice drinking the premium Bacardi Rum to which she's been accustomed"...and if that doesn't tug at your heart strings, I've included a video of the pain and suffering I go through every morning just to get down the stairs.

If you have any other ideas of how I can "extract money from others who read my blog, please leave a comment or call 1.800.shakedown

Mod Run - 1:33:31 / 18.05 km / 5:10 pace
2

15 comments:

XTB-XAVI said...

...i will invest 1$...HKD...lol...crazy guy...but not so s... idea!

I am thinking on it but FOR A GOOD CANCER CHILDHOOD CAUSE!

Cheers!

"XTB" Xavi.

Matty O said...

DON'T LISTEN TO B's BS! He is really raising the funds to pay off REID for his victory! LOL just kidding. I love it B. I will contribute as long as I get an invite to the Training Payne Party Lounge one day ;)

Shameless plug, we joined Team in Training, a minimum of 75% of their donations go towards cancer research for Leukemia and Lymphoma. Its a great cause and have been shocked at the number of people we have recently met that have been directly affected by it. We are raising funds... you can donate on my blog if interested. http://mattheworavec.blogspot.com/

Rock on B. Love the lifestyle and love the shuffle.

skierz said...

look forward to following your progress!

BrianB said...

Google ads - and sales of PFG gear will make you rich! Rich I tell you! @rbuike @johnwproc and I are all in for PFG jerseys since our Fat Bastard jerseys don't fit so good anymore.

Caratunk Girl said...

HA! That is awesome. Brilliant. Love the book title - and yeah, my man thinks I have blog problems too (too much time on it).

I am going to wait until you pay off Reid though, I want to make sure my $1 goes toward a part of a beer. Can you buy a beer for a dollar? Where? I will meet you there.

Doru said...

B. I read your blog almost religiously and I do not want you to run out of beer. I think that some of the best posts you wrote were after a few beers. Ha-ha. So, I am going to be generous and donate $5, which should allow you to buy the beer of your choice at LCBO. Plus, being one of the first to donate, I'll get the one day membership to the "Training Payne Party Training Center". That's an excellent return on investment for my $5.

adena said...

I was actually thinking about buying you a case of beer for all the advice and support, then i was going to see if you wanted to coach me for beer but I see what is happening to poor Reid so perhaps I'll just settle for a dollar donation everytime you make me laugh.. i'll need some time to think on this. I do love your business proposal though.

adena said...

that may be the longest sentence in history.. nice.

DRog said...

B-
Your friend Al is correct...same goes for me - I love reading your blog, it has definitely inspired me to have fun with the training and be more motivated..Thank you for that!

Get the google ads going and link to paypal for TPPF! I mean you see the Triathlete Pro's with banners all over their bodies right?

LOL: "transparent fund" hahah
-D

Johan Stemmet said...

B
You got my $, just donated but remember in South African money that is like $8 of my bank account, so I WILL make it up next July, downstairs!!
J

Unknown said...

I'd love to help out, but I'm a little short this month.

Can you lend me a fiver?

Pedalman said...

Well I figured I owed you a few beers as I've used the 'Motion is Lotion' phrase a few times at work. But I want the deposit back on the empties!

Bryan said...

X, $1 HKD, I'll take it, I need a piece of bubble gum. haha.

M, no, no, no, all moneys spent on Partying, no admin costs. haha. You are in the Lounge buddy. Your in big time, heck, even without the $ and all the funny comments, you're in.

JF, haha.

B, I hope your right, I have to "keep up with the Jones". haha. Shirts will be coming. Once I get out of bed by 3 pm, I'll work on it for 15 or 20 minutes. That's all I can do because I then get tired. haha.

CG, haha, your man thinks you have blog problems? Does he want a copy of my new book? haha. Don't worry, non of the TPPF goes to anything but things that contribute to delinquency. You've got a deal, I'll find a place for $1. haha.

D, thanks brother, actually you just reminded me, I haven't drank that Keg you got me. This weekend is a long weekend, yes. It will be gone. Thanks for the beer donation and yes you are IN to the party. Bring a sleeping bag.

A, what's everyone worried about Reid for? He's now cutting into my beer donations. Dang. haha. I'll take the dollar donation everytime you laugh, are you sure that's a good deal for you. haha.

D, good idea, I think I'll do that too. As always, I'm glad you get my "sense of humor" in the posts.

J, Thanks, got it. I figured SA money went a lot further with all those maids you have. haha. Don't worry about making anything up to me next year, you're my guest and I'll take care of you, not like that deadbeat Jamie, who's house I have to bring my own beers too. haha.

J, I figured, I knew you had to take one of the cars in for an oil change. haha. Man, I'd be pissed off if you donated (okay, not really) with all the beer and cigars you give me. Actually, I don't like when you give me your cigars, then I have to go back to mine and they taste like Sh*t. haha.

P, hahahaha, I love it. For sure you can have the empties back, but you have to pick them up yourself. Be sure to bring a sleeping back, you may not be able to drive home. Plus, I can show you my training secrets of carbo loading until 4 am and then getting up and riding at 8 am for 6 hours. You'll love it, I'm sure. haha.

B

Bryan said...

M, I forgot to mention, shameless plug on the "TIT" plug. Your cutting into my donations. Stop it. haha.

B

Doru said...

I just decided to stop my subscription to Triathlete Magazine and subscribe to Training Payne instead. Your blog is a much better choice. Keep up the good work!
Doru