El ka BEER BONG time...

I can hardly wait until Tuesday and getting back into a regular non-alcoholic schedule. I was up early this morning after hearing Davis talking downstairs and I couldn't get back to sleep. I only had 5 hours of sleep. Last night Sharon, Alice and I enjoyed ourselves until 3:30 am. I'm easily one day of sleep behind and need to do a "Rip Van Winkle" and sleep for an entire day.

First thing Davis wanted to do was go to Rona to pick up parts to build a beer bong. If you don't know what a beer bong is, it's a devise to mainline beer. I've never used one and only seen guys do it in the movies. Davis is your typically university student and expert beer bong maker. He's made so many, and so many bad ones, he now knows how to do it perfectly.

I wasn't into it at first. I wasn't enjoying myself standing in the aisles at Rona and then having to drive to Home Depot because they didn't have the right parts. When we got to Home Depot it was a exercise to find the right parts. But I must say, after some time in Home Depot I was getting into it. The parts Davis was getting were intimating. I like my beer, but looking at the parts and thickness of hose he was getting even "I" was starting to get scared. The only valve bigger, I swear, would be one that runs from the street to the house to carry water to the neighborhood.

We made our last stop at Canadian Tire to get the perfect funnel to load the beer into. It is large enough to put 24 beers. The idea with the bong is that you put pour beer in the funnel and then you kneel on the ground, while someone holds the bong up high, and you open the valve and gravity causes the beer to pour fast and furiously. The more beer you put in, the greater the pressure.

Once it was assembled, we put our Muskoka Ironman 70.3 bikes stickers with our race numbers around the outer edge of the funnel of the bong, in memory of the race. I was the first to "christen" it and like I said, I was scared. It came out fast and it turned out it wasn't all that bad. Then Rich jumped in and did it, followed by Davis. I thought that would be it, but Rich wanted to do it again. He even took his teeth out, he looks like such a "trailer park boy" with no teeth. I love it.

Then I came up with the perfect saying for a tee shirt - "It was all good until someone brought out the beer bong". The one thing I realized about beer bonging was that you go through a lot more beer than when you drink from a bottle. We blew through about 20 beers, I almost did a 6 pack by myself in one slurp, but Rich and Davis closed the valve on me. They didn't want me to hog it. Davis said the most he's ever seen is a guy do four, my six was blowing his mind.

We ended up getting another 28 beers and within 15 minutes it was almost gone. Jamie came by and took a "pull on the hose" as well. It was fun, we were in the back yard, sun out, smoking on a beer bong, cigars in hand, and laughing. Davis said this is the most fun he's ever had. He said he'll never forget sitting in the backyard with his Dad and Uncle Bryan, bonging beer. Then, as crazy as it sounds, Davis got on the trampoline and starting doing wicked flips. He's an expert free style snowboarder and what he can do on the trampoline is amazing, even after bonging beer. I think that's when I came up with my tee shirt saying.

Even Sharon tried it with her cooler. She's a champ. When Jamie came by, he was given the Honor to shave Davis's beard and he took it real seriously. He did a excellent good job too. He didn't take it all off, but it looks much better than it was. You can tell Jamie is a perfectionist the way he focused while doing it. Alice says Davis looks much better and I agree.

We started at noon and had to shut it down by 4 pm to get to the Airport on time. Alice drove and Rich, Davis and I were in "la la land". Rich calls the beer bong "Bryan's Crack Pipe". I was thinking I should bring it to the beer run. I'd definitely would have the advantage during the beer drinking phase, I'd have each beer down in under 5 seconds. I'd have the Nascar fuel loading advantage.

On the drive to drop them off, we had a scare. The off ramp to the Airport was closed and we didn't know the area well enough to go an alternate route. We had to stop at a gas station and Rich got instructions. I have no idea how he was able to remember them, but he did and they made their flight. I have no recollection of dropping them off at the airport. Later I asked Alice if I said good bye and she said that she had to work at getting me back in the truck from hugging good byes.

Davis said this year even topped last year. I was shocked and happy. We all had a good time and no one got hurt. The Sohor's were amazed at my ability to party and then peal off a 5:12 in Muskoka. Frankly, so was I. I pushed it to the edge on that one. The last thing I did before BKO'ing it last night, was pick up some Chinese food. The owners 5 year old daughter was running around the restaurant and she was so cute and talked, and talked, and talked. For me, that was a highlight, just watching her innocent pure energy.

My kids were laughing at me when I got home and started eating the Chinese food. Every part of my body started to swell from the MSG and salt in the food. Normally you can see every tendon and muscles in my feet, the kids always tell me that I my feet look like a skeleton, but after eating that food they blew up like balloons. From the beer, my muscles healing and the food, I started to look like the Michelin man.

25 - lost count.

It's never perfect...

Davis knocked on my door at 5:45 am with a Tim Horton's Coffee and bagel for me. All night I slept lightly. When I started to sleep I could hear and feel my pulse from my previous night of debauchery thumping from my chest. Then, halfway through the night, I started sweating. The bed was soaked. When I got up to go to the bathroom and came back, it went from being just wet, to wet and cold.

Absolutely, remarkably, when Davis knocked on our door and I did get up, I felt normal. I put my heart rate monitor on and it was down in the low 50's. Yes, I averted disaster, or so I thought. Everything was going to be okay, well not really. We were staying in a 5 star hotel and the toilet was plugged.

We had them fix it yesterday but it got plugged again last night. When I was changing in the washroom I saw Reid had left a couple of gifts in it. Sure enough, it was race morning and my stomach was rumbling. I had no choice. By the time Reid and I were done with that toilet it looked worse than an outdoor porta potty at the Ironman.

Sharon drove us to the site and was able to drop us off right in front of the transitions so we didn't have to take a shuttle bus. It was just perfect. Or so I thought.

I got everything set up in the transition zone and had about 90 minutes to burn before my wave. It's funny, Alice and Sharon were saying that when they saw me in the water I'm talking away to everyone. I never really noticed before. They say everyone else is quiet and look worried and I'm talking away. They must be right because in those 90 minutes before the race and after the race I met so many new friends.

I put my wet suit on about 20 minutes before the swim start and immediately felt claustrophobic. My chest felt tight, I was a little panicked. I didn't even want to do the swim. I was thinking that I felt this way because I abused my body a couple nights earlier and mentally wasn't there. After about 10 minutes, that constricted feeling went away and the wetsuit felt natural. Thank goodness. It was a good lesson, from now on, I'm putting the wetsuit on early to adjust to the tight feeling. Normally I put it on just before the horn goes off and work through the constriction during the swim, which can be a little scary.

Finally the horn went off, which is the sound to a 5 hour plus day of racing. Within the first 50 meters my left goggle filled with water. Then within the next 10 meters I was caught in the "washing machine" with everyone around me and got kicked in the head. If anyone says triathlons are not a full contact sport, they haven't done a triathlon.

My swim felt pretty good. I felt like I was strong and doing well. My only problem was sighting. I felt like I was going all over the place. I was also looking for the swim to end. I didn't look at my watch until I came out of the water and when I looked at it, it was a depressing 39 minutes. I was expecting 36 or less. At that point I was disheartened and just wanted to get this race over with.

They stripped me out of my wetsuit and as I started running to the transition, a women grabbed me and said you have to come with me. I was like saying to myself "what?", "don't you see I'm in a race"? "I gotta go". Then she said, "you don't have a timing chip on"? Sure enough, I looked down and I forgot to put my timing chip on. Awe man, it keeps getting better.

She ran me to a table and gave me a new one, then logged my name into their records. It must have taken at least a minute. I can't remember, I was just thinking that my race is over. So much for beating last years time. I finally got the chip, put it on and was back in the race with the intent just to get it over with. The good thing about an Ironman event is that it's organized and world class, they even have people checking to make sure you have your chip on.

Aside from the timing chip problem, my transition was okay. I wasn't my recent fast self and I made sure I drank down some ensure before I left. It was the first race in my new Shimano's and although they are way nicer than my old pair, they are more difficult to run fast in. The toes for some reason are really high in the air and have to run on your heels. It definitely slowed me down.

When I got on the bike, initially I felt okay, then about 2 km into the bike I remembered how hard this course was. It is relentless hills, there is not many, if any stretches that are flat. It was the strangest bike ride I've had all year because I was getting passed by people. I just had no leg strength. I tried to push it, but just didn't have it.

I was still doing okay and my speed was similar to last year. But last year I did this race two weeks after the Louisville Ironman. To my amazement and surprise, I think, over the course of the race, three guys who were 51 years old pass me. I had a guy 61 years old try and pass me and a girl, but that's where I drew the line. I really sucked it up and didn't allow that to happen.

Don't get me wrong, I was having a strong ride. But just not the strong race rides that I'm used to. I rarely have someone pass me. This was a new experience. For most of the ride my heart rate was at the 140 bpm or less. I couldn't get it higher. My legs were too fatigued. I knew I should have tapered more. I did one ride with Rich and Davis that I shouldn't have done, but I wanted to show them around my beautiful riding routes and let them make sure they assembled their bikes correctly.

The good news is that my new seat worked great. Around the 30 km marker, I decided just to set a goal of having a good ride and enjoying it, while pushing as hard as I could without over excursion. Around the 80 km mark I was so relaxed that I became tired. I've never been tired like this on the bike before. I was so tired I could have fell asleep. In fact, I actually and seriously thought of pulling over and finding a spot in the woods to lie down and have a nap.

The only reason I didn't was because I was racing with the Sohors. If it wasn't for them, I think I may have stopped and had that nap. I've also never had to pee during a half Ironman. I've always been able to hydrate myself perfectly and make it to the finish without stopping. Today was different. I had to go to the bathroom so bad on the bike that I eventually had to stop. There's no worse feeling than seeing guys pass by you, who you passed earlier.

The bike was 4 km longer than most half Ironman's. As I was was coming into the transition I rode by Craig Alexander who was less than a kilometer from the finish. I looked at my watch and realized that he was going to break 4 hours, which is amazing for this course. Not only is it a longer course, but it is one of the hardest on the planet. I do remember the announcer saying that he was running at a 3:15 per kilometer pace. He finised with a 1:11 half marathon. Unbelievable.

I got in from the bike and did achieve my goal, I rode as fast as last year, over 33 kph. I got off the bike and had to pee again. I did my transition shoe change, put on the captains hat and detoured at the porta potty and was off. I felt really good running right from the start. My sleepiness was gone.

The captains hat took my attention away from looking at my watch. The crowds were cheering the captain on and yelling at me "go captain", "go skipper", "love the hat", "where's Gilligan", "you must have a big boat", "whey to go captain stubeing" and my favorite was "are you chasing Ginger or Maryanne". I never realized that wearing a hat could be so much fun. I easily had over 200 people yell comments at me.

At the two kilometer mark, after going up one big hill, I looked down at my Garmin and saw that I was running at a 6:05 pace. Yes, a 6:05. I couldn't believe it, I thought my watch was broken. I was flying. I was passing everyone like they were standing still. The only problem I had was that I forgot to turn my heart rate alert off before the race and it was beeping like crazy. There is nothing more annoying in a race than someone having their heart rate alert on.

I kept running and tried to figure out how to turn it off. It must have taken me 2 more kilometers to figure it out, looking down at my watch the entire time. I was hitting all the buttons, scrolling through windows. By the time I was done my overall pace had slowed a bit. By the 5 km mark I was at 6:59 average pace and feeling strong. I caught Davis at the 5 km marker and he was hurting, I could tell. His legs looked like lead and he was shuffling. Davis is a good runner and has a nice style, at first when I saw him, the style was so laboured I wasn't sure if it was him or not.

I ran by him and said "whey to go Chief" and I could tell he was already in pain. Not good with 16 km left to go. Afterwards he said that for the first time in his life he got of the bike and had NOTHING in his legs. From his first step he knew he was done. I kept running and picking off everyone, by the turnaround I was still averaging a 7:09 on nothing but hills. I just felt great. I realized at that halfway marker that I have a really good shot at beating last years time.

The last 8 kilometers was tough. On pretty much most of the hills I had my eyes closed and was digging deep to keep the pace up. Needless to say for most of the run my heart rate was between 148 - 159 bpm. What kept me positive was all the cheering of the kids at the aid stations, other athletes and the spectators along the way. They were all yelling out and cheering the captain on.

With a kilometer to go to the finish, there was one more hill to climb. There was a guy I was running up on and I closed my eyes in pain and "bang", I ran into him. I moved to the outside and "bang" I drifted into him again. I apologized and told him my eyes were closed. The coolest thing happened. He gently grabbed the back of my arms and pushed me forward. Like he was helping to guide me.

I ended up finishing the run in 1:34:54. It was an awesome run. I then checked my times from last year and I was exactly 1 second slower in the swim this year, I was 1 minute slower on the bike (due to a pee) and I was 12 minutes faster on the run. And a whole lot slower in the transition zone. I also checked the stats and even though I didn't have my best bike ride, I still beat the pro Lisa Bentley. I always beat her by just a little, she's my benchmark. So I figured if she was slower than me, then I didn't have all that bad of a ride.

Davis finished in 5:57. He blew up on the run and did a 2:11. He was really upset. He was hoping to finish much faster and had put a lot of pressure on himself. He was in disbelief on how the course ate him up after all the training he did. He couldn't believe the hills, especially on the bike.

Rich finished 30 minutes faster than last year at 6:59. He too had to suck it up and dig really deep. He said he didn't walk once and near the end, when he realized he could break the 7 hour mark he had to pick it up. When we saw him cross the finished line, he was exhausted. No smiles, he just sat down and I thought he was going to die. He told me, never again. This is his last half Ironman. He said he wouldn't go to Clearwater if the flight, the hotel and the race fee was paid for with two free hookers. I asked him if he'd go if he got three free hookers. Then he said, "now your talking". It was funny, one of the lady volunteers overheard him and burst into laughter.

We went to the awards presentation afterwards. Following the awards was the Clearwater roll downs and based on last year I thought Davis and Rich would get a spot. I guess word got out that last year they had leftover spots because the place was packed. While we were waiting, Davis and I got a picture with the winner, and current Hawaiian Ironman Champion, Craig Alexander. If you look at the picture, I didn't get to close to him for his own good, I stunk like sweat.

FYI, it turned out that Craig also lost his timing chip after the swim and took off without it. Richie Cunnigham, another pro, picked it up, caught up to him on the bike and gave it to him. What sportsmanship.

When Craig heard that this was Davis's first Half Ironman, he commented "you really picked a tough one for your first one". It turned out that Davis didn't get a spot, but when it got to Rich's age group, Rich almost did. There were rolling down a far way and I thought he just might get one. I could see he was getting pumped, I was starting to get pumped about the possibilities and just before it got to him, someone else took the spot. Damn, although it did add to the drama.

We finally got out of there by 6:30 pm, got caught in typical cottage country traffic and 3.5 hours later we were home. Originally the plan was to party tonight and shave Davis's beard, but Davis could hardly keep his eyes open. I was showered and ready to go. It ended up that Sharon, Alice, Rich and I sat at the bar, had good conversation, cocktails and cigars.

Davis wants to party tomorrow before they leave at 6 pm. I can hardly wait till they leave, only because my liver need's a break.

Swim - 40:08 / 2:01 per 100 (102nd AG)

94 km Bike - 2:50:43 (32nd AG)

Run - 1:34:32 (11th AG)

T1 -4:39

T2 - 2:08

22/196 age group

133 / 1335 over all

11

Why make it easy on myself...

I don't think I got to bed until 4 am last night, after lots of beers and cigars. I had a BKO, which means a booze knock out. When you wake up on your bed with your clothes on, you officially received a BKO.

Too much fun last night and too much hurting today. Rich and Davis were smart, they went to bed early. It took us a few hours to drive to Muskoka and I was able to hold it together until after registering. At 4 pm Davis and I went for an easy 15 minute bike ride and it hit me like a ton of bricks, nothing worse than the post party bonk.

If I didn't have dinner plans to meet up with Carlos and Hans, I would have went through a drive thru window to pick up dinner and went home and slept. I just started to feel terrible. I still did my pre-race run but that hurt even more. We went to "The Cottage Bar and Grill" and getting some food , a few beers and some Advil in me helped.

On the drive to the Race I came up with the motto that Davis and I are going to use for the race. We're going to "Go for the bonk", which means we are going to go as hard as we can where we bonk right at the finish. Easier said than done. Right now I feel like I'm on a bonk and I'm not even racing.

I've got exactly 11 hours to get back to normal. Time for bed.

Pre-Race Bike 18:00 / 8.75 km

Pre- Race Run 15:00 / 1.85

3

Going for a test ride...

Felt good this morning. No hangover, which is always a good thing. We took Rich's bike to the Gears bike shop, he was having problems with the head set. Good thing we did, it turns out a spacer was missing and it could have cracked the headset or worse if he hit a pothole. He has a specialized and it was the biggest specialized shop in Toronto, he got the best service because he has a specialized. If you show up with a Cervelo, you don't get the same level of service. They're specialized snobs.

We took the bikes out for a 50 minute test ride in the beautiful escarpment county. When we got back, the beer started to flow. Jamie Grant showed up and brought his new Ferrari. He let Davis take it for a ride. Davis almost "peed" his pants. Actually I think he did "pee" his pants. It is a beautiful and loud car, it just screams when you drive away.

Davis took his mom Sharon and when they got back and Jamie had left, I asked Davis if he opened it up. He looked at me and, I quote, said "I'm 20 years old in a Ferrarri, what do you thing I'm going to do"? He said he got it up to 200 kph in like 10 seconds. He told Sharon that because of the picture I did for him and the driving of a Ferrarri, he didn't care if he did the race. His trip was already complete.

He also gave Reid a ride in it. I'm not into cars and not impressed with expensive cars, although I do like old school muscle cars, the kids said everyone was looking at it. Jamie then took Davis to his house to look at his Porsche Carrerra GT. Jamie and Davis had a car lover bonding experience.

We ended up drinking the afternoon away and went for a nice Italian dinner. Rich went going to bed early, and Alice, Sharon and I stayed up till I don't remember. All I do remember is that we decided that I'm going to do the race with the Captains hat and Alyssa's pimp chain tomorrow. Pictures to come.

Easy Bike - 52:40 / 27.3 km/ 24.08 kph

20

The eagle has landed...

Today is D day, the Sohor's arrive. I had a super productive day. I was in hyper get work done mode. I'm away Friday and Monday so I needed to get everything cleaned up before I left work.

By the time I finished I was still in "Action Jackson" mode and could feel my back tightening up from excitement. I ran before work and had just enough time to do a ride before picking Rich and the family up at the Airport. I'm so glad I rode. It really settled me down. It's amazing the calming power of exercise.

When I got to the Airport I hid around the corner so they couldn't see me and I had a caricature done of Davis in my hand. When they came out, I stood beside the limo drivers that had the names of the people they were picking up and I was holding up my caricature of Davis "the Chief" Sohor as if I was a limo driver. When team Sohor saw it they loved it.

First thing we did when we got to my place was head directly downstairs to the bar. Rich opened the fridge and Alice had it completely and nicely stacked full with Amstel light. He almost had a heart attack. He couldn't even wait to find a bottle opener, he had to used an old school opening technique, cap on cap.

We were like kids at Christmas, saying this is "going to be so much fun, this is going to be so much fun", jumping up and down, hi-fiving and hugging each other, and yes, I'm in my mid forty's and he's in his mid fifty's. I don't think at 5 years old I was this excitable opening my Christmas presents.

We actually took it easy. We had a good time, and the beer flowed and we had a nice barbecued steak dinner and believe it or not we were all in bed by midnight. Which is a good thing, we need to pace ourselves. Sunday night will be the big party, especially for Davis. He is so focused right now, I don't even think he had a beer. He wants so much to qualify for Clearwater and he's been training hard.

I'd never count Davis out. Both of Rich's kids are athletic and when they put their minds to something they do it better than most. Paul, the youngest, played for the World Juniors under 17 year old Canadian Hockey team a couple years ago and is now in Everett playing Junior Hockey at 18 year old and hoping to make the NHL. And Davis is an awesome snowboarder. He does those wild freestyle moves, with flips and everything. Crazy stuff really. Like I said, if those kids focus on anything, they focus until they master it.

Mod Run - 35:14 / 4.47 miles / 7:52 pace

Mod Bike - 1:30:36 /47.67 km / 31.5 kph / 130 bpm avg

10

Getting chased by the big white dog...

I feel great. I mean it. For some reason, for the past week or so, I've felt really great and I don't know why. I'm in a high energy, Zen like state. Even simple things, like waking up in the morning and having a cup of coffee and checking email just feels great.

I've even been looking forward to falling asleep quickly so tomorrow comes quicker. Weird. I could get used to this. I think this warm fall sunny weather might have something to do with it, I don't know. But I wish I could bottle this feeling.

Even during my swim at lunchtime I felt awesome and was pulling myself through the water effortlessly. I was at a different pool that was only 25 yards, not meters, and I think I felt faster because I had to turn more. I now know the secret to feeling faster in the water, swim in a shorter pool.

I didn't get home until almost 6 pm tonight. I had everyone at work wanting to talk to me and then I had pick up Alice's car, it was in for an oil change. On the way home I realized I needed to put my race wheels on in preparation for Sunday's race. I'd been intentionally putting it off, it can be a bit of work and messy. I also wasn't looking forward to having to remove a tube to fix one of the stems which was leaking air.

To put the race wheels on, I have to remove the skewers, remove the old tires, remove the old front and rear brake pads, take off the speedometer magnet from the rear spoke and then put back in the skewers, put on the new brake pads, put on the new tires, and reattach the speedometer magnate. Oh yeah, and then pump up the tires. It's a bit of work and my hands get filthy dirty. There's no clean way to do it.

The added work I had tonight was having to remove the tube on the race wheel and put on a new extension on the stem, the old one was leaking air. Surprisingly, everything went perfectly easily. Like I said, life right now feels great. I did everything so gracefully it felt like I was in a ballet. What normally takes me at least 30 minutes, took me about 15 minutes, tops, and that even included removing the tube and fixing the stem.

I can tell fall is coming, it's getting darker earlier now. I was on the road by 7:00 pm and 30 minutes later it was already getting dark. As I was near the end of my ride, I rode by a yard where I've been chased by a big white dog all year long and he's never come close to catching me. Today he was out and he saw me early. In his pursuit, he took a tangent that had him catching me head on. I had no choice but to slow down, and then stop, and always thinking to keep the bike between me and the dog.

As I stopped, the dog stopped, it's hair all high on it's back and it's tail dead still. I chose not to be afraid and tried to do the old "eh boy, eh boy, come on boy" thing. I could tell I startled him by not being afraid. Truth be told I got the idea from a motivational speakers podcast I was listening to a couple days earlier.

He was telling a story about a man who had two large guard dogs, who broke their chains and started running straight at him. Instead of running away, he ran right at the dogs and startled them. They stopped, got freaked out and started running the other way. The moral of the story was to "face your fears and they will go away". It was a nice "corny" story, but I drew from it.

As I was standing only 3 meters away from this dog, and trying to be nice with one hand, I was trying to get my camera out of my jersey with the other for this perfect photo op. I ended up taking two photo's, one with and one without the flash on. As a young teen aged girl came to get the dog I could tell she was wondering why I was taking a picture of her dog. The look on her face said "weirdo".

The moral of the story is, "if you truly face your fears, you'll be relaxed enough to take a picture" - Bryan Payne. Feel free to use it.

Mod Swim - 40:54 / 2000 meters

Mod Bike - 1:02:38 / 32.68 km / 31.2 kph / 135 avg hr

No guilt...

I couldn't stop eating today. I'm not sure why. Maybe it's my subconscious telling me that I need to carbo-load for Sunday's race. Or it's because I was on the computer all day and had the munchies. Who knows, but what I do know, is that I ate a lot.

I decided to take today off as a taper day and I'll train Wednesday and Thursday and then that's it until race day. I can hardly wait until Rich flies in on Thursday afternoon. I spoke to him today and he's pumped. It's going to be TOO much fun.

He told me that once he got off the plane he wants to go to KFC. I asked why? and then he reminded me. When he was here last time, we had the munchies and I took the Sohor's through the KFC drive-thru moments after they closed the store. The old guy at the window said they were closed and he wouldn't even entertain giving us any chicken, heck he wouldn't even open the window. I was trying to convince him through the glass.

He gave up and walked away in disgust, but I ended up getting the attention and sweet talking one of the girls that worked there, and low and behold, she opened the window, and we got some "dirty cluck". Rich, Sharon and Davis couldn't believe I got the chicken and they bring it up often. Now I've left out some of the story to protect the innocent, namely me, but it was surreal for Rich and the family, and he joked we should do it again. Me, my approach is to create new memories, I'm sure we'll have a new KFC moment sometime this week.

Taper Day - Rest and eat like a little piggy.