This is going to be a controversial post. I think I need a few younger friends. I look at people my age and they look and act more mature than I feel.
What got me thinking about this was the swim clinic at McMaster University. Seeing and being coached by all the young people, I was was envious of their lifestyle. I looked at them and wished I was at University with them, other than the schooling part. I told John this during the session and he said "what do you mean, you are the biggest kid I know, you live their lifestyle AND, better yet, you have money!".
No offence to most of the guys may age. They are absolutely GREAT guys and I consider John Barlcay my best friend in Ontario. They are just more mature than me. Driving to McMasters I realized I'm pretty much their age. Am I to act as mature? To fit in with guys my age, I feel I need to be a little more reserved.
I'm a mature 17 year old from the 80's, which is probably a 21 or 22 year old of today. When I was at the swim session and being trained by 20 somethings, I felt like they were my brothers. I feel like I should be hanging out with them. I fantasised about being with them and swimming hard in the early morning before school and partying on the weekends. I was just mesmerized looking at these kids and thinking they are "Living the Dream!".
Don't get me wrong, I love my existing friends, but it seems my current lifestyle is very conducive with 20 - 30 year old athletes that like to party. Guys my age don't want to party like teenagers anymore. John will often say that it is a good thing he didn't meet me in his younger years, we'd be trouble. At what point did John become a "grown up"? and why?
When I was a kid, I watched cartoons and said I'd never stop watching cartoons for the rest of my life. I remember that moment vividly. Now I'm 44 years old and I don't want to live the lifestyle of a 44 year old. It's boring. I don't know what normal 44 year olds get out of life, everything seems to be responsibility and obligation related.
No one seems to be having fun. It all seems to be about work, being stoic with kids and getting to bed at a reasonable hour, only to repeat the next day. Boring. I can't live that way. I told Alice today that I need to add some younger friends to my friend list. Not that I'll even consider getting rid of the more mature ones, their great to hang out with for adult activities, but I also need to hang out with people my own mental age.
For example, my best friend in Manitoba is Rich Sohor. I met Rich when I was 18 years old and he was 30 years old. We got lost on the course at the Morden Triathlon and finished together. This year, Rich turned 56 years old. In the past 5 years, Rich has started to get mentally get older. He's getting set in his ways and becoming more negative and opinionated. He used to stay up and party with the best of us, now he goes to bed early. Now I'm starting to feel closer to his son Davis.
Davis is 22 years old. This year we did Muskoka together. It started to feel more natural hanging out with Davis than Rich. I've offered Davis to live at my place if he ever wanted to move to Ontario. I can't imagine the fun we'd have. It would be training together and partying together. It would be a beautiful thing.
Especially now, when I look at racing times and I can beat most 20 year olds, it just supports the fact that I'm a 20 year old myself. Not just mentally, but physically. Right now I'm having a mid-life crisis. It's not that I want to get young, it's that I want to stay young.
Davis had a beer run yesterday, in Winnipeg, in the cold. He was following his uncle Bryan's lead. He called me at 10:30 pm all drunk. I didn't get the message until the next day. I couldn't even understand what he was saying, he was so drunk he was slurring his words and I couldn't even make out the last half of his voice mail. It was "beautiful booze talk".
I called Davis today and told him that I didn't even know about his beer run. His dad told me on Friday. Had I, I would have flown into Winnipeg for it. He was surprised. I told him to write the details about the race on his blog. His blog is http://yourhavingagoodrace.blogspot.com/.
Don't get me wrong. I love my life, it's been great, but I just don't ever to want to get old and have to act my chronological age. I hope my "mature friends" are not offend if they read this. If they are, "sorry, my intent is not to be mean spirited". I'm just being true to myself and articulating my feelings, which is one of the reason's I blog.
Instead of saying "grow up", I say "grow young!".
My picture of the day is Reid and I training together. When he was 4 or 5, I moved his training wheels up so the back wheel didn't touch the floor and he could ride beside me when I was on the trainer. For you sub 40 year olds this one of Alice's and my favourite 70's songs.
Last Day of off-season - Rest Day
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26 comments:
Can't say that this feels "controversial". What you're saying is that you're still full of life and zest, and you want the people you hang out with to have some passion for living as well. There's nothing wrong with that, and absolutely everything right about recognizing this. Don't discount older people though... I know many people in their 40's, 50's, etc. who are so full of life they don't bother sleeping much. Your body and spirit are strong and you want the people you hang out with to be as committed to LIVING as you are. Nothing wrong with that at all. Glad to hear you're not one of the "walking dead", my friend. I like that.
Lara, that is the most beautiful comment I've ever gotten. Thanks.
I'm in that catagory you described, "40's 50s" who are so full of life.
Great comment. Thanks again.
Fuck off.
I need a nap.
Just to let everyone know, Jamie is one of my Ironman friends, in his 40's, that live around the corner. haha
I read Davis's blog and he had 30 participants for his first Beer Run event. That's more than double than you had at your 2nd Annual Beer Run. You definitely need more young-at-spirit friends if you don't want your beer run event to be shadowed by Davis's. ha ha
D, that's the difference between Manitoba and Ontario. There is many more alcoholics in Manitoba. haha
D, BUT, I think if I get younger friends I can give Davis a run for his money. By next year I'll be like Rodney Dangerfield in the movie "BACK to SCHOOL".
B., if you want younger friends then you need to watch more recent movies and listen to more recent music. When you refer to a movie or a song I always have to Google it. Lol
By the way, if you look carefully you can find plenty of alcoholics in GTA as well. My wife says that somehow I seem to find them everywhere. ha ha
I am going now to do my 2:30 hours indoor bike ride. I so hate this workout...
D, good point about the music. I now know my mission. I need to bring the best music in the world to the younger generation that currently listen to shit. haha.
If you pay attention all video game music is 70's. That's because us old guys are the programmers.
If you can party as hard as me and stay up as late as me, I'll listen to your music. When you 30 somethings don't know who Chicago is, it breaks my heart.
B
D, I did laugh at your "google it". That is priceless. I'm embarassed yet laughing at that statement at the same time.
Upcoming blog posts will address some new and funny issues.
Party on Garth.
If you google - go for "wayne' world", it will be easier.
This is a funny post because I have recently been having this shift in the other direction. After muskoka I felt that I was closer to Bryan. No one my age does triathlon thats for older guys, my friends think I am stupid. Half my friends didnt even make it to the bar, so I felt obligated to call Bryan. Why?? Cause I think of him as my age. I knew he was up. And I knew he was having fun. And I am seeing that more and more. I am taking a training trip this summer I think it will have to be to Toronto.....To see Bryan. And since Bryan now has pull with the producers of mantracker maybe we can get a show about training and building beer bongs.
B., I definitely can't party as hard as you do. I do not know anyone who can party as hard as you do and then do a full training session the next day. I am still amazed at you being able to drink 118 beers/month and in the same time follow your training program and qualify to the Ironman World Championship 70.3. That's just amazing!!!
My type of music is from 80s and 90s. I guess everybody loves the music that they were listening to in their 20s. I remember my mom asking me how can I listen to that music because to her it sounds like "garbage". There are a few songs though that transcends the time and "The Pina Colada" song is one of them.
Davis, any time bro, let me know when your coming and "training hard and partying hard" will begin.
Doru, thanks for the props. You gotta remember, my beer average was down because I took 39 days off. haha. Glad to hear you know the Pina Colada song.
This comment came in from Dave, directly to my email address.Thought it was worth sharing.
Most of my tri friends are in their early thirties. I find it it interesting at races to meet their parents and realize they are my age. They look at me like why are you doing this and not acting your age. I get over it and go hang out with Jim and Gary other tri friends they are 67 and 71. I never think of them as old. I believe Triathlon training is the best activity to keep from getting old. The training keeps my shoulders back, my back straight and my legs strong. Training also lets me downhill ski in the mountains from lifts open to lifts close. Long after everyone else has headed for the barn. 30 years ago I started running to get in shape for ski season.
Dave
Age 55
we are all old as we beleive, it sonly a damn number! I am whatever age I am(have to ask my wife half the time) and I know I will never grow up(even though my wife keeps telling me to) Saty young, train hard, party harder!
John, I've alway's known your a kid at heart. BTW, next week I'm going to ask if I can try out of the McMasters University swim club. haha
Well B, I like the revisions from yesterday's post, especially the third last paragraph. I like that you write from the heart and are honest and true about your feelings on family, friends, life and triathlons, I think that is why I enjoy reading your post and I don't think you can be banged on too hard if after reading a post, after being way "self' over served, you feel a revision is in order. Everyone who writes and opens themselves up to public will sooner or later feel that they may have gone a little too far, but I believe it is the courage to recognize and correct those issues which makes a really great writer. I thank you for your honesty and your post, I enjoy reading them. I'm sure you don't write them to please me or any one else, but all the same I appreciate the opportunity to read it.
P.S. I was going to comment yesterday after reading you original post, that John should taze you, lol. Later.
B, your absolutely right "John should taser me". I'm sure he'd take great joy in it, regardless of any wrong doing. haha.
In my world, I've always had a rule with my friends. The rule is "you can't hold something against someone else if were all drinking and they say something inappropriate". That's what I call "booze talk" and it doesn't count in the real world. I only like to hang out with people that are like minded and get that rule.
Many times I've argued on side of an issue passionaltely, only to argue the other side more passionately 15 minutes later. Beautiful booze talk.
B
Ask those young guys and I'm sure they envy you just the same. The grass only looks greener on the other side.
Don't listen to me though since I'm one of those 'young' guys who would rather be 40-something :) That may sound weird, but I'm in a uniquely awesome position of only being 31 with an 18,17,13yr old. By the time I'm 36 we'll already be empty nesters and early financial freedom. This means we have to have friends ~10yrs older than us so it fits our lifestyle. All my young-buddies have newborns or crushed under newly-wed financial debt. They just can't come out and play anymore. They envy those with 10+ years of life-experience on them.
J, interesting situation your in. If you live in Ontario, we could solve this for both of us and start hanging out and training. haha.
We're similar in that most of the people our age have younger kids as well. Believe it or not, at 40. I'm so glad we had our's earlier, I don't miss those diaper years.
lol, considering it is the first comment I've ever written (yet I read your blog daily) I don't blame you for not figuring it out :)
JohnP = John Proc(and Fran) - I was over at your place for the BDay with Rodney :) Fellow X-Fat-B*stard turned triathlete-wannabe(working on that first IM still lol)
But yeh - like I told you, we gotta get out for a ride!! :)
Too Funny J!!!!!!
I didn't realize it was you. I didn't realize you had 3 kids. I thought maybe you were newleweds. haha.
Now I know, plus you like going long, even better. Don't worry I'll know JP from now on. Too funny. I see rides and beers in your future. lol
B.,I am 200% with you, I hat eto have "Groundhog Day" syndrome and feeling like Bill Murray...that is why I am a Carpe Diem way of life follower with high energy level day after day...but I believe is genetical, my father is 78 years old and keeps hiperactive day after day!!
Sometimes, when, my wife tells me your are "too innocent" ...I think for myself...great, like a kid!!! I love kids and their transparency and innocence..."good faith"!! but, we don't need to forget "mens sana in corpore sano"!
Take care and greetings from Hong Kong!
"XTB" Xavi.
X, love your comments and especially "seize the day", great words to live by and I agree with you and not your wife. lol.
Sound mind, sound body another great piece of advice.
I guess it all comes down to what "being old" means to the individual. I don't think it's a biological age but rather a state of mind.
For some, staying young means maintaining a minimal level of maturity and reliving the "good old days". For others it means constantly growing, constantly evolving and yes, constantly maturing. It means having more questions than answers. It means allowing yourself to continue developing as a human being. It means maintaining an open mind so you can embrace new ideas, new technologies, and yes, even new music.
For me, allowing yourself to remain mentally stagnent by refusing to grow and mature is actually the opposite of staying young. It's okay to continually grow as long as we see it as a journey and not a destination. I think the secret is to never stop growing up.
So B, I guess what I'm saying is that you don't need "younger" friends to stay young. You need friends that challange your thinking, introduce you to new ideas, and support your passions in life. Friends that share your laughter and your tears. Friends who are always there for you and forgive you for sometimes coming across as a bonehead (Hey, we all have our bonehead moments). Friends like that come in all ages.
Good luck my friend on figuring it all out.
Reply to Anonymous said...
Please read new post
http://trainingpayne.blogspot.com/2009/12/feel-like-new-tired-man.html
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