Blunt truama...

The left lower side of my butt cheek is still killing me from last Saturday's escapades.

I did my "super run workout" today and it "super hurt". I could tell it's a muscle issue and not a bone or cartilage issue, so I ran through the pain.

After I finished, I booked a massage appointment. I normally don't do massage. I stretch and do weights and in most cases that keeps me loose and limber.

Since I started the weights and stretching a few years ago, every time I'd go for a massage, each of the masseuses would say the same thing, "you've got no knots in your muscles". Essentially, it was a waste of time going.

For the past month, I haven't lifted weights as much as normal and I'd been stretching after only half the workouts. Before I went for my massage, I did a a weights workout. The weight training helped, I did feel a minor sense of better afterwards.

I went to a new massage therapist. It was the only one I could find with an opening after calling about 5 of them. The problem with going to a new therapist, is you have to show up a little early and fill in all the new patient paperwork.

As I was filling it in, it asked my occupation. I've always hated this question on any form, it's personal and why do they really need to know? I thought about my occupation and all I could think of was "cage fighter", so I wrote that down. Afterwards, when I had more time to think about it, I realized I should have put down "donkey whisperer".

I handed the form back and the therapist reviewed it and I was looking for a "crack of a smile" or "surprised look". Notta. It was just as I thought, they don't read it that closely.

From now on, on any form that asks my occupation, I'm making up crazy ones. I can hardly wait to fill in my Ironman race applications next year. The cool thing about the Ironman occupation, is they show it on the athlete tracker site during the race. They sometimes also announce it when you cross the finish line. Wouldn't it be great to hear, "Here comes Bryan Payne, "a Foot Straightener" from Burlington, Ontario Canada. "Congratulations Bryan, YOU ARE AN IRONMAN".

The therapist was awesome, she had a great touch and was a natural. One of the best I've ever had. I told her that I was "drunk" in a "Battle Royal" on the weekend and since then have been experiencing some discomfort. Last year she was in Kona for her honeymoon at the same time as the Ironman and knows how big it is. She laughed at the thought of an Ironman wrestling drunk with six of the guys on a trampoline.

We talked the entire time and she told me, "you live quite an exciting life, mine is boring next to yours". I told her, "don't worry, for the next five weeks, I'm off the beer, mine will be boring too, except for one post Syracuse Ironman 70.3 celebration".

As part of my pre-massage instructions, I told her to focus at least 45 minutes on lower body and 15 minutes upper and if you're going to err, do more lower body. I've learnt my lesson from the past. Most therapists spend more time above the waistline than below. For a triathlete, upper body massage is "diminishing returns", unless you're going for a "feel good" spa experience.

It didn't take her long to zone in on my butt injury epicenter. She felt it right away and started doing some pressure point work. At one point she was shaking. She asked, "do you feel you're muscles involuntarily shaking?" I told her, "I thought that was you and your elbow shaking".

Her diagnosis was "high impact muscle damage" caused from a "blunt trauma". I asked her if an elbow being "dropped" on me would do it and she said, "yup". I think it was the 26 year old, 200 lb'der from Ohio, but I could be wrong, Doru has one bony elbow. I asked her advice on recovery, she said, "stretch often". It still hurt like hell when the massage was over, although it was looser.

I made the personal commitment to myself that next year, if I have a big race following the House of Payne Beer Run and a trampoline wrestling match breaks out, I'm going to take the high road and do the responsible thing, "I'm going to put on my hockey equipment before entering that ring".

Speaking of health, I made the commitment to increase my life insurance. Currently, I'm un-insurable, my GGT levels are too high from drinking beer and no insurance company will touch me. My previous employer had insurance on me and I found out I can assume all or part of it with no medical.

I decided to increase my coverage. The reason was threefold. The first, is I bought a Kegerator. The second, is I ride my bike outside on busy roads. And the third, is no insurance company will insure me. Insurance companies aren't in business to lose money, "so they must know something from their data about people like me".

I also heard that if an insurance company knows you're an Ironman, they put you in the category of smoker. The do so because of all the free radicals in our body from over oxygenation from training. It's common knowledge that endurance athletes do not live as long as normal people.

I talked to my insurance guy to determine the amount that I would need to keep the family in the lifestyle to which they have become accustomed. I ended up topping it up to $2 million dollars. I figured that'll give Alice enough time to find a rich guy without having to jump at the first one she meets.

Tonight Alice and I went out for dinner with John Barclay and Heather. We went to Earls. When the girl came to ask for our drink orders, John ordered Beer, Heather ordered wine, Alice ordered a Rum and Coke, and when it came to me, I could feel John's eyes on me saying, "what's he going to do?" It was the moment of truth.

I ended up ordering a glass of diet coke and a glass of water and then looked up and said something like, "I could feel you're piercing stare wondering what I was going to do". We had a good laugh about that one.

Although I wasn't perfect. After dinner we headed back to my place, John wanted to try the Kegerator and I did have a glass of beer to keep him company, but I didn't finish it all. John had a least a couple. It was the first time John beat me at beer consumption and he also beat me at playing pool, he won 3 games out of 5. I'm sure I won't hear the end of that one. To this day, I still having lived down losing a 25 meter swim sprint and the 100 yard dash.

As we sat around the bar, Alice was explaining she was very distraught. Her favourite ring I bought her for her birthday, which was very expensive with multi-diamonds, had gone missing the day of the Beer Run. She liked it more than her wedding ring and remembers specifically putting it on her night table in the bedroom. I'm having a tough time thinking or wanting to believe anyone from the run took it.

I hope she was wrong and it turns up else where, or if it was taken, it's anonymously returned via mail. I'm praying she's wrong. She's certain. After John and Heather left, we tore apart the bedroom looking for it without any luck, although we did get to redo the bedsheets, the bed looked perfect afterwards.

This morning, as part of my 5 week commitment to focus on my Kona preparation, I stepped on the scale. I haven't weighed myself since the "weigh in" at Ironman Lake Placid. At that time I was 189.8 lbs. Since that time, I've drained 138 litres of beer from my Kegerator.

I was so afraid to step on that scale. My comfort zone is 183 lbs or below and I weighed in at 188.0 lbs with 9.7 percent body fat. I was actually impressed that I wasn't heavier, especially after draining 280 lbs out of the Kegerator since IMLP. At minimum, all I have to do is lose 5 lbs and I'll be happy, if I lose 10lbs I'd be ecstatic.

Super Run - 1:46:48 / 21.0 km / 5:04 per km / 143 avg hr

Weights - 45 minutes

188.0 lbs / 9.7 % BF

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