I'm adjusting...

I stopped the pity party today. I've been overwhelmed with support and advice about being stressed and depressed from only three days of not training. The word that keep coming up over and over was "Ironman Blues". I'd never heard that word before. I got one article from Jevon in the U.K., written by his coach, http://www.ironmate.co.uk/post-ironman-blues.htm

Great article.

I find the best way to deal with something is to make up your mind and "Just Do It". No waiting and no easing into it - "Just Make Up Your Mind & Do It". So that's what I did, I decided not to complain, worry or feel guilty about giving my body some time to rest, recover and rejuvenate. As far as I'm concerned, until December 7th, it's the off season. No structured training.

I still went to the pool today. I swam like I should have been wearing a rubber bathing cap with flowers on it. I was s-l-o-w. I did some free-style, breast stroke, back stroke, kicking with the board, back crawl and pull. In the other two lanes were a couple of poor swimmers who were passing me. I'm sure they thought they were doing pretty good kicking the ass of a guy in an Ironman swim cap.

For the entire swim I had these people passing me and I kept wanting to speed up a little just to show them I was taking it easy, that I'm not normally this slow, that I can go faster and that I can kick their butts. At that moment I said to myself "man, you are competitive. No doubt about it". But I kept my "post 80 year old after a heart attack recovery pace" until the last 25 meters. I just couldn't hold my self back any longer. One of the guys got about 10 feet in front of me and I had to turn it on and blow by him. Just to let him know I was taking it easy. Obviously I have issues.

A week ago something happened that I forgot to blog about, but thought it was blog worthy. I came home from work and found a personal letter on the table. It was addressed to Alyssa in old fashioned hand writing. In the sender area it was the name of a guy she is seeing. It kinda surprised me because "who sends letters anymore"?

If your a dad with a daughter and you're like me, you are very suspicious about any guys that want to date your daughter. It is very awkward for me to meet one of these boys. If you've ever seen the movie "Meet the Parents" with Ben Stiller and Robert DeNiro, you may remember the scene where Robert DeNiro explains to Ben Stiller about the circle of trust. With Alyssa's boyfriends or potential boyfriends they are automatically "outside my circle of trust".

In many ways I wish I was one of those dads that could be relaxed and make the boys feel warm and welcome, but I can't. I make them all feel very uncomfortable. I use a lot of one syllable and one sentence answers and either no eye contact or piercing eye contact. Alyssa says most of her friends are scarred of me, period. Which is strange because my nature is to be an outgoing and trusting person. If I met these young people at a triathlon and they weren't trying to date my daughter we'd get along great.

I remember years ago when we lived in Winnipeg, Alyssa was about 14 years old and she came home with friends one evening, one of which was a boy she liked, or was dating. His name was Curtis. It was a Friday night, I had some beers and started asking him all kinds of "gestapo like" questions. I was testing him. I asked him about his grades and he told me he got a 100% in physical education. I called bull-shit. I told him "no one gets 100% in phys ed"!!! The kid insisted he did. I told him to go home and get his report card and prove it to me. I told him if he got a 100%, I'd give him $100.

He went home, then came back without his report card, he said he couldn't find it, even his mom was helping him try to find it. I told him sarcastically "surprise, surprise...you can find it"! It was my way of vetting Alyssa's boyfriend and basically letting her know, this guy is not worthy. Shortly after that, we moved from Winnipeg to Toronto and I didn't think anything of it. Then one day, about three months later, a letter arrived. It was addressed to me.

It was a letter from the kid and included a copy of his report card and sure enough, he scored a 100% in phys ed. Alice and Alyssa had opened it before I got home and were laughing at me as I looked at it. They were giving me the gears and rubbing it in my face. At that moment I realized this was a good kid and it was too bad we moved because he was worthy enough to date my daughter. He was the first and only boy who has worked his way into my circle of trust. I really liked his "I'll show you letter". I'm sure he was wishing he could see my face when I opened it.

After I looked at it, I did the only honorable thing I could do. I wrote a check for $100 and mailed it to him. I found out later that he and his mom were surprised to get the check. But I am a man of my word. I will say I was drinking that night and Alice and Alyssa had to remind me about the bet I made after I opened the letter.

Now back to this new letter. The first thing any good father does when a letter from a boy arrives for his daughter, is it try to read it. I didn't open it, but I did try to put it on the window and see if the sunlight would help me make out words, which it didn't. Then I tried the same thing with a lamp and that didn't work either. Then I was thinking of boiling some water and steaming the letter open. I decided against it, Alice wouldn't let me. I mentioned it as an idea and Alice vetoed that one right away.

Alyssa got the letter and I asked her what it said, knowing she wasn't going to tell me, but I just wanted to bug her. Although I was interested in this guy. Who is he? Where does he live? What does he do? How old is he? What do his parent do? You know, all the basic questions, of which she answers none of them. I did end up putting the guys return address from the letter in my address book, just in case there's ever a problem. I should put a "lol" after that, but I'm kinda serious. Heck, she's my little girl. Even though she's 19 years old and she's a responsible young person I still feel the need to protect her.

In Clearwater, I asked her again how old this guy is. Alyssa tends to date older guys. Which I don't like, but she does. She says guys her age are too immature and just want to get drunk. Now that's she's 19 years old I'm less concerned about her dating older guys than I was. In either event, I kept asking her "how old is he" and I could tell by her not answering he was older. Then I started to think he was really old. After all, he sent a letter. Who sends letters nowadays? Is he too old to even know how to email? I said this to Alyssa and we all started laughing. She then told me he's 29 years old. Gulp....

But she's now 19 years old and is legally an adult. At 19 years old I had my own apartment. If she was 17 years old and he was 25 years old, I'd be freaking. Having a daughter is tough. I know how young guys think, they only have one thing on their mind all the time. Heck, what am I saying, guys of all ages tend to have only one thing on their mind.

There is definitely a double standard with boys and girls. With Reid, I'm looking forward to him dating. The more girls he dates and brings home the merrier. I know Alice and Alyssa will be suspicious and judge whether any of the girls are "Reid worthy", as I am with Alyssa, but I'm looking forward to it. I hope he brings home some real cute ones. I'll pat him on the back and brag about him to the guys at work. Major double standard.

I am adjusting though. I'm actually looking forward to meeting Alyssa's current or future boyfriend(s) and trying to act like a normal person when I meet them. Maybe I can use the next three weeks to read some self help books on "how not to be too competitive in a pool with slow swimmers" and "how to treat your daughter's boyfriend like a human being".

Easy, Easy Swim - 35:53 / 1100 meters