2nd Annual HOUSE OF PAYNE 5 km BEER RUN...

The House of Payne Beer Run is my Christmas. I can hardly wait for it and even have trouble sleeping the night before.

This year the beer run went on the road to the House of Barclay. After last years inaugural race, John kept insisting to have it at his house with the course along the beautiful shores of Lake Ontario. Normally, it defeats the purpose of naming it the House of Payne Beer Run, but John a good friend and he kept asking me all year if he could have it at his place. I didn't want to move it, but only because it was John, I said yes.

I'm glad I did. He moved into his new neighborhood last year and it is absolutely spectacular. It is a quiet street, mature trees, in a "fairy tale" like setting. The course ran just down the street with most of it on a path that ran along Lake Ontario. It was the perfect day for a beer run, sunny and we even got a nice breeze off the lake.

I got to John's place around 11:45 am to help set up. I had a nice bike ride prior and before I showed up, I called John to try and prank him. It was retaliation for when he pranked me about the Florida Ironman 70.3 last year. He told me that a truck, carrying alligators, turned over and the alligators got into the water at Disney and they are cancelling the swim portion of the race. I'm not a good swimmer and don't like swimming, but I swam at least 10,000 meters a week all winter and was "pissed off" they cancelled the swim. All my work was now for not. He then told me, and not right away, that it was a prank. Bastard.

I know John can be nervous about having everything ready, so I called him and told him I had bike trouble and wasn't going to be able to get there until just before the race started. I was expecting him to be freaked out and he wasn't. He calmly said "no problem, I'll see you when you get here". Damn. I called him an "asshole" for not falling for it and told him I was on my way.

When I arrived, I had everything we needed in the back of my truck. It was like a race on wheels. We unpacked and started to set up. John took me through the course he created. It was a beautiful run, but there was a couple of problems. First, it was too complicated. I was sober and I think I would have got lost, even with the signs everywhere. Secondly, this is a beer run, it's about supporting each other. The ideal is an out and back course so you can hi-five and cheer each other along the entire way.

With an out and back, you're in constant contact and support with each other. John's route was beautiful, but for a beer run would have been torture mentally, especially for the non runners. Everyone would have been alone with their thoughts and their beer burps and wondering when the hell is this thing going to end. For sure no one would have showed up again next year.

I tactfully told John "I think we need to change the course". When I explained my logic, he completely understood and laughed. He then wondered out loud if someone else would offer to have the race at their house next year. I told John, "no way, The House of Payne is NOT going to go on the road again, this is my race!" I told him that because it was him, I made an exception.

He started laughing and told me that he really didn't want to have it, he just felt sorry for me having to host it and offered to do it this year to make it easier on me. I laughed. What a total misunderstanding. I love putting on this race, it's what I live for. Poor John, he and Heather worked so hard getting ready, thinking they were helping me out and feeling sorry for me. That just shows you the kind of friend John is. I'd do anything for him, except help him move furniture. lol.

The race was smaller than last year, a few people registered and didn't show. But I thought it was more fun this year than last year. The location was unbelievable. John and Heather have an absolutely gorgeous house, with a pool and hot tub in the back yard, all in the middle of a picture perfect neighborhood. As we were running, John's neighbors were outside doing yard work, the average age had to have been 80 years old. I told John they must call him "the young couple" that moved in.

Like I said, the run was a blast. It's amazing how everyone is fairly quiet and reserved before the start and then after 5 km and 6 beers, everyone becomes "long lost brothers and sisters". We had our first female entrant this year, Lisa Fortuna. She did the full 5 km off the "ladies tees". She only had to drink three beers. Alice said she also would have done it if she knew she would've only of had to drink three beers. Next year, I'm going to allow wine and hard liquor. A lot of people want to come but don't think they can drink that much beer.

It was a prediction run, which means anyone, regardless of their finishing time can win. No one is allowed to wear a watch and the winner is the person who predicts their time closest to the actual time. This year Tony Valentini was first and only 12 seconds off his predicted time, I was second and Richard Kun with a finish time of 71 minutes and 38 seconds was 3rd. It just shows, anyone, regardless of their speed, age or gender, can win. It's a great way to level the playing field and make it more exciting.

I can hardly wait until next year. Unfortunately, John spoiled us and next years route will be no where near a nice as this years. A special thanks to John and Heather for hosting an awesome Race. And a special thanks to Alice, Alyssa, Reid, Heather and Jacob who helped volunteer.

After the race, Alyssa drove me home and I had some more beers. Later on, the Fortuna's came over for some Chinese Food. I finally hit the wall, collapsed and went to bed before Alice. That rarely happens. I couldn't have had one more beer if my life depended on it. What a wonderful day. I can hardly wait until next years race.

Long Bike - 1:42:07 / 53.81 km / 31.5 kph / 133 avg hr

Beer Run - 25:25 / 3.1 mile / 8:10

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Below is this years 2009 House of Payne Beer Run Video. Enjoy.