"I got to get on the wagon and stay the hell on, I keep falling off". That phrase perfectly describes my current out of control situation. Last night was no different. I did a 6 hour long bike ride and wasn't even going to have a beer, but noticed Alice was having a cocktail and decided to join her. I didn't want her to drink alone.
The next thing I know, it's 3 am and I've got a huge bonfire going in the back yard and music blaring from the outdoor speakers.
Then the next, next thing I know, I wake up at noon still wearing all my clothes and feeling like crap and asking myself, "why did I do this to myself? I feel so lousy". Just 24 hours before, I did my long ride and without any beers the night before I felt great doing it. It was heavenly.
My problem is I live too much in the moment and live life to the fullest. The minute I commit to partying, I go for it with reckless abandon. If I'm going to hang out and have beers, I'm going to go until I drop. It's just so much fun and with the 70's music playing and having good conversation with Alice, I just don't want it to stop.
But it has too!!!
It's killing me. I don't stop, at least for a while, I'm going to start gaining more weight. I'm already up 6 lbs and I need to bring that down. I just find it difficult to maintain the commitment of sobriety. Academically I know what to do and why I should do it, but for some reason I can't.
I've got issues!!!
The worst part about yesterday was my brain was foggy. I had some website stuff and I needed to show Alyssa how to do it. I keep having to remind myself that she's smarter than me and what I'm showing her she'll pick up right away, which she does, and I need to show her how to do it because that will be her full time job.
The one thing I don't want to do is be impatient with her. I want this to be an enjoyable Father-Daughter experience of working together. After all, its just a little side line business and I don't want it to get so serious that it loses it's fun factor and causes a rift in our relationship.
Alyssa picked up what I showed her and spent a few hours working on the site. She also did some research and found out there as a few things we were doing wrong that would cause servers to think our emails were spam. I knew at that point I need to give her space and let her go.
It was a hot day today and because I was dehydrated I couldn't run right away. I didn't want to risk muscle cramping and potential injury to my calf's. I needed to hydrate and planned to do my long run in the evening when it cooled down and I was hydrated. In the meantime, against all common sense, I sat outside, had some beers and invited Jamie and Barb over for cocktails and cigars.
Jamie brought over a couple of awesome and expensive cigars for me to smoke. It's been a while since I've smoke a good cigar, let alone two. My cheap ones are like smoking a rolled up rug. I noticed the difference immediately, the ends weren't dry and crumbly when I cut them.
As always, we had a good time. We ended up watching the UFC pay per view downstairs at the bar. Jamie hadn't seen it and even though I saw it last night, it was worth watching again. By the time they left and I was ready to run, it was 9 pm. Regardless of the fact that I had pizza, beers, wings and cigars, I still pushed myself out the door for my run. Before he left, Jamie thought I was nuts going for a run.
I ran about 13 minutes before I realized, I don't want to do this. I feel like crap and other than the mental game benefit, there was no physical benefit. I was pissed off at myself for partying too hard on Saturday night and pissing Sunday away. I had a bit of a "come to Jesus talk with myself" as I stopped running and walked home.
I packed in tonight's run in after 30 minutes and committed to running tomorrow morning. I felt I'd get more benefit, especially running in the hot sun. We have a bit of a heat wave happening here for the next three or four days and I'd rather take advantage of it. I'm also going to TRY really hard to stay off the beer until after IMLP. Which is much easier said than done.
I wished I knew why I can't stay committed to staying on the wagon.
Run/Walk - 34:58 / 4.25 km / 8:12 pace
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I fully understand what you are going through. On Tuesday evening I was watching a movie with Miha and I decided to have a couple of beers. The next thing I knew was that it was already 3:00 AM and Miha was telling me that it was really the time to go to bed. We had a really, really great time but I felt like a zombie for the next couple of days. At least until IM Lake Placid I am not going to get drunk again or so is the plan.
The real question is what's priority? Enjoying life or shaving a few minutes off your next race? Are you doing triathlons as a fun way to stay healthy enough to party for many years to come? Or doing them to race to win? Race to win - better stay on the wagon. Just keeping healthy? Keep the drink training going.
I am having a similar problem...to a much lesser extent. I don't stay up until 3 am drinking or anything, but it has been on average 97-100 degrees here everyday for the past couple weeks, and since I am a teacher I just stopped working, so I have been making excuses not to train...and drinking a beer or two or some wine with dinner hasn't been helping, because then not only am I hot, but I am hot, tired and tipsy. I have my first ever tri this Sunday, and I am terrified that my two weeks of kind of falling off the training wagon are going to affect my run. I need some words of encouragement Bryan!
Friends don't let friends drink alone. :)
Seriously though - figure out if you want to finish IMLP or if you want to give a solid bid for a Kona spot.
You can do it, I have no doubt. Can you do it and stay up partying? Not sure, if anyone can, you can. But you might want to try dialing it back instead of shutting it off maybe?
Good luck.
First step is to admit there's a problem. You've done that. i'd recommend getting alcohol counseling, sort of like having a triathlon coach to improve your training. Get a counselor to improve your ability to handle beer. Or, maybe set a schedule to follow similar to your training schedule. Decide you can have 5 beers per night this week, 4/night next week, 3, 2. Then probably hold at 2 during serious training.
I'm with ya buddy, I'm outta the same mold. It's all or nothing with me, the switch is either on or off. However that's why I keep struggling with my weight, it's not the beer calories but the decisions I make with the beer inside me or while hungover afterwards - i.e. no/poor training or poor eating choices (quality/quantity).
My new rule is to limit myself to three drinks whenever I partake. It works really well although it's almost always tempting to say what the hell and have a few more. But in fact what actually happens is that just taking that time to think before I break the 3 drink rule is enough to realise that I've already got a good buzz going and I don't need any more - you soon realise that in fact anymore isn't gonna give you any better feeling just a hangover.
I still stay up late but seldom past 1am (if I'd been drinking heavily then that would be different) and this means that I almost never miss an early morning training session (5am) as I'll have got 4hrs sleep and if necessary can take a snooze when I get back.
I still occasionally have my big blow outs like my recent Company Awards night so life doesn't get too sterile.
You and I have similar personality traits which probably led us to becoming FG's and then PFG's. This rule has worked for me so far and it's the first step towards a "normal" person's control I reckon so I'm sharing it with you. (No preaching, just sharing).
Good luck - I know it ain't easy. We'll never be "cured" but we gotta find the tools to manage it and enjoy life to the fullest and sometimes that means that something has got to give.
The End.
First off, that picture of the guy filling up his beer stein... LOL That is frickin hilarious!!!
OK on the beer front. I don't buy that you can't stop drinking or that you are weak and give in too easily. I think its more that you don't take life seriously. Since you don't take it seriously you want to enjoy every minute!
You can't have your cake and eat it too, well that is most people, not B. B has the cake and eats it too! With the training, you can do anything you want and have essentially no negatives since you are so disgustingly fit. Your only consequences will be not going to Kona.
As Mandy said... what's Kona worth to you? Take things serious for a month and get your Kona slot... OR enjoy yourself and complain on your blog for a month :) haha.
Either way you choose, you may be the first person that could pull a Kona slot with your lifestyle habits.
I totally get this. I do the same on a much lesser scale, people drop by or I finish doing some awful house chore, and I decide I'll just have 1 and then 1 turns into several and then I don't train, feel awful the next day. I am on the wagon this weekend, I'm just going to take it one weekend at a time. I agree with Caratunk girl, if you want to bid for Kona then training has to be the priority.
Why does summer time have to be so much fun, haha! Open water swim tonight and boy am I looking forward to that, and I haven't had a beer since Saturday.
D, great to hear I'm not alone. I'm going to do my best to join you on the beer wagon. haha.
B, I'm with ya brother. This year, not worried about qualifying any longer. My only motivation is not to become a FG again. Once I get down to 180lbs I"ll be boozing again. Too much fun not too. haha.
L, you do have a problem, not staying up until 3 am. Wuss. I would have said pussy, but your a girl. haha. I wish I could get tipsy on a couple of drinks, I'd save so much money. Words of encouragement??? Ummm, lets see....an object in motion stays in motion, keep moving, even if you have to walk.
M, I'm going to try and dial it back until after LP, I hope. Thanks for the sound advice. Strange coming from you. haha.
R, yes I have a problem, I don't need alcohol consuling, I'm pretty good a boozing without it. If anything, I should counsel others on drinking. Do you want to be my first victim? haha. I agree with your idea, the problem is implemenation. After 2 beers, I put the airplane nose up and go. I think I need to just buy to beers and have no more in the house or a six pack at most until after IMLP. Seriously, good advice, except for the councelling. haha.
S, it's nice to feel I'm not alone. haha. I agree totally with everything you said. I'm going to try your 3 beer technique, except I won't be more efficient in the morning when I wake up with my clothes on and don't have to get dressed. haha. I aprechiate the good advice.
M, You busted me, I do enjoy every minute and don't take life seriously. Kona is now next years goal and I feel much better that you are encouraging me to over indulge. It's so easy to give responsible advice. No one ever accused you of going with the flow. hahaha.
A, if I had one after doing a house hold chore, I'd never have one. I don't do house hold chores. haha. But I get your point. I also agree on the tempting of good fun during summer. I hope your swim goes well and kudos on the no beer, but don't make it a habit. haha. Lifes to short.
To all, seriously, thanks for the great advice.
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