It's been a tough day...

When I woke up my throat seemed a little worst for wear. I didn't think I'd need more pain killers but I did. I was a little discouraged because I figured it might not be prudent to run if I can't eat. I was a little disappointed.

So I spent most of the day on the computer learning iphoto, imovie, ibooth, idvd, and itunes. I'm amazed how much I'm learning. After 8 hours I was burnt out, so I went to lie down and watch some TV. It turns out the Ironman Hawaii special just started. I didn't even know it was going to be on today..I lucked out!

I love watching the Ironman specials. Not only does it show the race leaders but it shows the human stories, which always bring a tear to my eye. Watching it brought back memories. As I watched the age groupers struggling and walking it started bringing back feelings. The main one is fear of pain, I don't want to have to struggle to finish. I'd rather put in the hours of training than struggle to finish. I've struggled to finish during my last Ironman because I didn't train enough and it was brutal. I kept asking myself "what was I thinking? and telling myself this is the last time I'm doing this, what do I have to prove!". No joy at all.

The only thing I can eat easily is pizza, so that's what I had while watching the Ironman. Afterwards was the moment of truth. Do I run tonight or not?...I decided to run.

I put on the heart rate monitor and it was 75 - 80 bpm resting. Seeing that made me discouraged and depressed. All my previous training was now officially down the drain. All of a sudden I became extremely irritable. I kept thinking, my muscles have atrophied and I 'm getting too thin in a bad way (I'm down 8lbs in 10 days), my heart rate is high, all my past training is now lost, I feel sick from the pizza, I can't find my running tights, I couldn't find my hat, or my gloves, is my throat going to be okay?, I have a head ache, the TV has been on the home decorating channel all day long which I really don't enjoy...arrrgggg...I was just ready to blow!!! I was swearing as I was trying to find everything. Alice heard me and came and tried to give me a hand.

I got out the door, it was cool outside, throat seemed okay, I figured the cold air was probably good for it. I took it easy. I still felt aggravated, but I was now starting to at least run. My heart wanted to go for a long time, but I listened to my head and only did a 40 minute run. The first half was easy no aches or pains, the second half I couldn't keep the heart rate under 140 and started feeling minor aches in the knees, right calf, heel. I figured I'm going to start slow and rebuild over the next month. Got home had a good stretch. Still irritable but not as much. Throat was good and I was able to drink water without to much difficulty. Throat now feels raw, no sharp pains.

Overall, I will say it feel real good to run again. It was the first time running since the marathon 2 weeks ago.

I'm now starting to realize how much I need exercise and the feelings I get to keep me calm, optimistic and care free.

As I finish this, Alice went downstairs to workout and I changed the channel to a movie for better background noise. I'm still irritable, but now that I'm able to train again, I'm sure I'll get back to my old self. I'm curious to see if I feel sore tomorrow?