Taking internal stock...

Today was not a good day. I stayed up too late last night and I drank way to much last night and my body felt it this morning.

I wasn't hungover, but I was pretty beat up. The worst part was that I really wasn't comfortable with my behavior last night. I drank to much and lost control of myself. I was a drunken mess and I shouldn't have been based on the circumstances of having employees over. If it was family, no problem, but with staff, I acted inappropriately.

All day I ruminated about the situation and started to take personal inventory. Because of my extreme personality, it is very had for me to do anything in moderation and drinking and partying is no exception. Although it is so fun at the time, when you can't remember parts of the evening or misread situations, you know there is a problem.

I'm very close to quiting drinking all together. If I could learn moderation I think that would be a better solution, but I'm not sure if that is possible.

One of the things that really bothered me today was that I lost my motivation to train. I was supposed to do a 5000 meter swim at 7 pm and I couldn't. My mind and body were not ready. It was a turning point. I knew if I didn't do tomorrow's workout I was in trouble.

Needless to say, I'm really thinking about changing my partying lifestyle, for my mind, spirit and body's sake.

Today's picture is of the cup cakes that Alyssa made, she is an incredable baker. Last night when she was making them, she wouldn't let me touch them because she said they are for her friend who arrived from Winnipeg this morning. If you look closely, the bottoms are chocolate.